a hippie with a minivan

When to tell?

So it has been a week since we found out that #3 is on the way but only a handful of friends (and a few mere aquiantances) know about it.. oh and anyone that happens to read my blog 🙂 But, we haven’t told any family yet and I don’t know when we will…

With the boys everyone in the family knew right away… I mean the test wasn’t even dry yet and they knew…. but this time I just feel like waiting a bit…. Maybe it is to spite my mom, maybe I just want to wait a bit…. maybe it is just that I just don’t want to answer questions… I mean there was enough questions around nursing through pregnancy last time, that this time Tandem nursing during pregnancy… well I just rather not tell… going pretty much unassisted? Yeah… that will be fun to talk about with them….
So, I feel like waiting until I am showing and then just let them notice or tell them if they haven’t. I think I would rather tell them in person this time instead of over the phone to be able to see their reactions. I saw my mom the day we took the test and would have told her but Simon didn’t want to do it in front of everyone that was there (her boyfriends sister and neice are staying with them for a few months while the neice get an operation)… Anyways… I wonder when the time will feel right but for now I like having this little secret….

Scary and Sad…

I had talked about the Pearls before in one of my posts. Their book is purely disgusting and makes me sick to my stomach, I really can’t talk about it but you can read about it here….

http://stoptherod.net/ttuac.html

and if you truly want to be masochistic and see how scary, sad and horrible these people are you can read the whole book here…

Now they have been directly linked to the death of a child.

http://www.newsobserver.com/102/story/418676.html

It is truly sad and again disgusting. How can people actually think that children need to be beaten. The Pearls even say that you shouldn’t talk about it because it because people would just not understand… however, it is more likely that they know that it is purely child abuse and know people would be outrages if they knew.
As a Result of this a Boycott has been started….

BOYCOTT: Michael Mike Debi Pearl, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, HomeschoolBlogger.com, HomeschoolBlogger, HomesteadBlogger, Homesteadblogger.com

Here is a link to Doc’s post that explains it all…

Making friends…

This topic has come up latelty on a few blogs that I read including Mama C-ta and Mother Anarchy and a few boards…

It seems that we non-mainstream moms have trouble making friends with the moms of the mainstream. I agree and find it sad but it is not something I see changing anytime soon. I just can’t seem to make friends with people that have completely oppositional views then me on something that I take so much pride in and believe so much in.

But like Sara said:

“My husband has suggested, in not so many words, that my standards are too high, or that I need to cut mainstream moms some slack, but seriously, how likely am I to connect with a mom who doses her child with meds for his Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or who leaves her screaming newborn with the cashiere while she shops?…… As I told my husband, there are some fundamental differences that I can’t overlook.”

I remember being invited to a fellow mom’s home when Colin was about 4-5 months old. I got to her house and her older son was gone to daycare as he does everyday even though she was a SAHM… we talked a bit, small talk at most and at one point she told me how she used CIO adn that her dd cried for hours (she was 3 months old)… she then told me about how her older son gets up early and that he has to wait in the stairs until she gets up and is not allowed to even get a toy during that time… explaining that once he stayed here for 3 hours…

I could no longer look her in the eyes after that day… I made up and excuse and left as soon as I could. There are just somethings that I can’t deal with knowing the harm that it may cause. However, unlike beating a child, you can’t complain about it and get heard because it is still so much part of the mainstream, even though more and more mainstream sources are saying that it may have been a mistake.

Some may call it “judgemental” and maybe it is… however what is wrong with being judgemental when we think that someone is truly harming their child? To be friends with someone I must have respect for them, and I simply can’t repect someone that truly doesn’t respect their child and in retrospect, I can’t imagine them respecting me if they are not able to respect their own child.

It is not that I can’t make friends with the mom’s of the mainstream, it is that I truly don’t want to… One day I will maybe I will be able to get past certain issues because we will have been past that stage and it will simply not be talked about, However, there is something about the way that a child is seen by this person that I believe stays past the stages. Though I may not know what bothers me, there will be something there that prevents a connection. I have seen this already with people that I know with older children.

In this small city in Quebec non-mainstream moms are just hard to find. If I could get past a few differences friendships may be easier to make but I wouldn’t be happy and it wouldn’t be healthy. I am happy however, with the friends that I have made, I know that I have made friends for life.

Diaper Free… (mostly)

Of course now that I went and bought some new covers that actually fit, Colin decided that his potty strike is over and that he wants to use the potty again on a regular basis… Hey! it is cool with me!!!
So he has been going diaper free more and more and is getting potty independant… he still can’t get underwear off by himself but leave him bare butt and he heads for the potty sits down and does his business…. there are some misses of course but less and less and some bad positioning at times but he is happy to be going diaper free… and so am I….

I didn’t keep up as much as I wanted to with EC… and then when Colin started his potty strike we just lost the habit… he would scream, cry and arch his back whenever he was on the potty… the only time that he wouldn’t was the morning pee, so I kept the morning one for quite a while but he refused at other times in the day…However, I can see that even though we lost the habit of going often he didn’t lose the habit of knowing when he needs to go and he still has control over it… something that Xavier has to relearn because of contant use of diapers.

Next baby will be a different story though. EC from Birth and Diaperfree as much as we can.

Feeling Better and Better about it…

Thinking about it more and more…I think that I am very ready and happy to be going Unassisted throughout the pregnancy…

I am not the kind of person that will get scared by going unassisted. It will more likely make me feel like I have more control over the whole situation, resulting in an ever more empowering pregnancy and birth, which I truly believe is something that Women have lost with such medicalized births.
I will also be starting a Pregnancy journal to record the pregnancy. It truly is the beginning of a new journey 🙂

OH… We told the boys yesterday morning when we saw the line come up on the test… I explained that first the leaves will come back on the trees, then it will be summer and Xavier’s Birthday, then Colin’s Birthday, then the leaves will fall and it will be Hallo’een and then the baby will be here… Xavier’s Response? “I want a lot, a lot of Candy” (for Hallo’een)