a hippie with a minivan

been quiet….

I haven’t been writing lately…It is summer and that seems to happen on my blog…

we have been sick and making the most of the days that we can… The boys got sick about 3 weeks ago and it seems to have made its rounds a few times now… fevers, runny noses, coughs and headaches. Just the run of the mill cold that won’t go away…we have had car trouble and pool problems and things seem to be breaking all at the same time but we have been able to keep up and get things done…

We have been to the cabin to see my mom…. the boys love going there, especially the ferry ride over…

It is not a long ride on the ferry, but we go across the St-Laurent River and the view is nice…

and the cabin is beautiful….

the boys have so much fun exploring and walking around and going for rides on the four wheeler with my mom…

One thing that I love about our home is the fact that we have a pool… Quebec weather is so extreme, in the winter we get very cold temps and lots of snow and in the summer we get very hot weather and humidity that makes it unbearable at times…So on nice days we mostly stay at home and we hang out in the pool…

Colin loves to swim underwater and since having taken this pic he can swim without the aide of the balloon… he is such a little fish!

Xavier is a little more conservative in the water but just recently (after seeing his little brother can do it) he has been putting his head underwater… but he still hasn’t figured out how to keep the water out of his nose… he is really trying though!

Khéna loves being in the water… when we are not in the pool he hangs out on the stairs and watches his brothers…. When we are in the pool though he is always in our arms and loves to swim with us… he is just starting to wear his balloon and has been getting more comfortable letting us show his how to move in the water..

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The last two weeks have also felt a bit shorter because we had the Quebec “national” holiday last week on Wednesday so Simon was off in the middle of the week and the same thing is going to happen tomorrow for Canada day… I really wish it was like that more often! Now only two weeks left until he is on vacation for 2 weeks! I can’t wait!

I’ll try to update a little more often… 🙂

Breathe…

Simon was playing D&D with the boys and the house was quiet…

I called my dad to say Happy Fathers day and talked for a few minutes with him… and while I was on the phone I saw in the corner of my eye, the box with the Doppler in it… I got off the phone and the doppler called to me and begged me just to try. (I assure you, I am still sane)

I told myself, no… it is too early… I remember the midwife saying that you can’t hear the HB before 12-13 weeks especially when you are overweight…

Never mind… I came back upstairs….

It called to me again… it was more insistent… (OK… maybe I am going crazy) but this time I listened…

With the way that I have been feeling, I thought that I could just try… just see… and told myself I wouldn’t be disappointed if I didn’t hear it…

I thought about where I would be able to find the HB if I could hear it.. so I first tried very low and down but I didn’t hear anything… I didn’t want to try too long so I was about to stop but then just decided to try a little higher… then I heard it…

Just then, Simon came down the stairs and I told him that I heard it… I tried to pick it up again for him, and right after he got to hear it also…

What an amazing sound… what amazing emotions that go with it… and relief… and the realization that there is actually a little life in me again…

I feel like I can breathe just a little easier…

Weird…

This pregnancy is a bit weird for me at the moment…

I am finding myself forgetting that I am pregnant instead of my usual habits of looking at pregnancy things everyday… I told my mom last week when I went up to the cabin and I hesitated before I did… but finally decided to and now I regret it a bit… and besides friends I feel no pull into sharing the news with other family….my mom called yesterday and asked how the baby was and I said that he was good and running around… not thinking at all that she was talking about the one growing in me and not Khéna.

With Xavier it was the excitement of having a first, waiting for my midwife appt., doing exams and writing papers and working the x-mas rush at work… With Colin it was the excitement of having a second, going out a lot around Montreal with Xavier, buying a house etc…With Khéna it was choosing to have a UP/UC and soaking up all the info that I could…. This time, it is just life as usual and in someway I think that I am scared to get too attached in case some thing happens.

I also find that these first weeks make it easier to feel the way that I do because there is no movement yet… no heartbeat to be heard… besides aversions and a few cravings I have no symptoms… so it is still just a waiting game and though it was still the same waiting game with the others, this time it just feels different…

Garden…

Last weekend I made my garden. Last year I didn’t have a garden because I was gone for 6 weeks and it didn’t make sense to have a garden that could not be tended and that could not be harvested when needed… I just hope that everything grows well this year because for now the weather has been a bit on the cool side for June…

My garden is not big but I think it is just a good size for our family for some of the basics…

This year I only put a few things in the main garden and the rest are in containers and I like the idea and the look that it give the yard also…. I might get a few more things but for now I am quite happy with the selection…

Here is the main garden…

Jalapeños

Lettuce and Shallots

Strawberries and mint

Various herbs….

More strawberries (another variety)

Blueberries…

I will be transplanting a few of these in the fall so that they will grow again next year… like the blueberries, the strawberries and the mint… we already have a raspberry bush in the back of the yard that grows more each year. It will be great to be able to get a few fresh berries during the summer for breakfast and desserts….

Feeling Fat…

I know that I am overweight, there is no denying that I need to shed a few pounds.

Here is the thing though, as you know, I am 8 weeks pregnant with my fourth child.

Usually, I am OK with my “fluffiness” but right now, it just makes me feel really self conscious.

If you have had more than one child, you know that you start showing earlier.

But when you are overweight and pregnant you don’t get that cute little pouch or the slightly bloated look as other women seem to get… your fat seems to be pushed up into a permanent muffin top that is there whatever you wear, even if you are wearing nothing. I can’t get away from it and whatever I wear can’t hide it…

I just can’t wait to start looking pregnant instead of just fat… the worst of it is that I have even lost about 7 lbs since I found out…

Petty complaint but it feels good to voice it….