a hippie with a minivan

Still here…

This is only my second time out of the hospital in nearly two weeks… Willa was supposed to be out yesterday but then she came down with a fever on Wednesday so that blew our plans out of the water and we are looking at at least another week. As a result, she has had two ultrasounds that show that her hydronephrosis is getting worse (either because it is still not draining or because it might just be inflammation because of surgery) so that is something that we need to watch out for in the next few days…

Yesterday she was put under general again to get a PICC line because they couldn’t find any more veins and She was also found to be c-difficile positive so that has been hard on us because we are mostly in isolation.

It is hard, I am tired… I can’t wait to be home….

Surgery…

Willa is in surgery right now…. It was so hard letting her go.

Thank you everyone for the kind words by e-mail, through Facebook and here on the blog…

I will not have Internet access for a while as I will be staying with Wilhelmina but I will try to update as soon as I can.

UPDATE: Simon here, back from the hospital. The surgery went well, but was longer than expected, so the wait was quite nerve-wracking. Willa has tubes all over, but she is doing well, and resting. Melissa will be back with a more detailed account soon.

Getting nervous…

On Tuesday I woke up thinking that we had two weeks left until Wilhelmina’s surgery… As I changed her bandage I thought… “maybe just one more time after this…”

But then, just before noon I got a call from the hospital telling me that her date has been moved up to the 4th… next Tuesday. Just one week from the day.

So soon

I am not a very spiritual person, but certain days hold more memories than others and October 4th is one of those. The most important memory is that is was my stepfather’s birthday and though I think about him nearly every day, having her surgery scheduled for the same day just feels right in a way.

So I am working hard to process all the apples that we picked on Monday so that I don’t lose any the time that I am gone and I am thinking about the types of meals and trying to plan a bit ahead for the time that I will be in the hospital with her. Never leaving her side has the disadvantage of not being able to eat very much, or eat very well. So I am planning on making and dehydrating soup to bring and making a few other treats and snacks that will be filing and will keep the time I am there.

But in this time of preparation, I am also getting nervous…

This morning the urology nurse that I really like called me to say that she will be on vacation and to give me the contact number for another nurse if I have any questions. She then told me what to expect for the pre-op on Monday and then a bit of what to expect for the surgery. It made it much more real. My daughter will be taken from me in the waiting room and brought into the operating room by herself. Though the surgery is expected to take 4-5 hours, I have to remember that there is about an hour of prep before that time starts and then about half an hour or more after until she is brought into the recovery room. After that, her transfer to her room will depend on how she is recovering from surgery and there is a possibility that we might spend the night in the recovery room and not in a room.

We will know a bit more on Monday during the pre-op but I would rather remain ignorant at this moment…

Though I am looking forward for this to be over with, to no longer have the nephrostomy tube to deal with, at least at this moment she is happy and doing so well and I am able to hold her when she needs me and when I need her. I have a feeling that the time that she will be in surgery will be the longest hours of my life. I know that this is what she needs and that there really is no alternative, but then there is a part of me that just wants to whisk her away and say that they can’t touch her… she is my baby…

Just 4 more days…

I need to stay strong, but it is so hard some times.

Family Apple Pancake…

Apples are back in season which means that Apples are plenty, delicious and cheap…

Yesterday we left on a whim to go apple picking and came back with 55 lbs of apples for about 30$… It has been beautiful lately and yesterday was no exception, It may be fall but it was warm and sunny and a perfect day to be out in the orchard picking apples off the trees and eating them within seconds of being picked..

The boys and I have been peeling and preparing apples all morning, preparing them for the dehydrator and for apple sauce and fruit leathers and whatever else comes to mind…

One of our favourite apple recipes is Apple Family Pancake… I have been making it for a few years and it has only improved with time…

This makes enough for all of us for a filling breakfast and then usually there is a bit left in the pan for picking at for the rest of the morning.

4-5 apples (peeled, cored and chopped)
4 tbsp brown sugar
4 tbsp butter
3/4 cup oats
1/4 cup slivered or chopped almonds*
1/4 cup raisins (optional)
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp almond extract*
1 tsp cinnamon

2 cups of milk (coconut, almond, soy etc)
2 cups of flour
3 eggs (beaten)
2 tsp baking powder

* these are optional but since I have started adding them, there is something missing when I don’t. The almond extract is the key!

First thing is to take a pan and put about 4 tbsp of butter in it. A large Cast iron skillet works best here, but any large heavy pan will do in a pinch (if you are using a cake pan a 9 in would be good).
Next, place the pan in the oven and pre-heat to 400… the butter will melt and the pan will get hot and get coated which is the goal here.
While the oven is heating up, mix the eggs and milk in a bowl, add the flour and baking powder (which you can mix together using a fork while it sits on top of the liquids and then mix until well incorporated without over-mixing. This should resemble a thick pancake batter.
In another bowl, place the apples, sugar, oats, almonds, cinnamon, vanilla extract and almond extract and then pour the melted butter over it all (remember… it’s in the oven) and mix well. Try to not eat all of this mixture right away… it basically tastes like a raw apple crumble!
Pour the batter into the hot pan and then pour the apple mixture on top and spread evenly and then place in the oven and bake for about 25-30 min….
Wait for the smell of apples and cinnamon and almonds to permeate your home and for everyone to start drooling..

You can cut into wedges and serve as is or drizzle with a bit of maple syrup…

Happy Apple season!!

Talking about UC on CKUT…

A friend put me in contact with a local mom who is pregnant and has her own show on a Montreal radio station and was wanting to talk to someone who had a UC…

We friended each other on Facebook and then we were able to meet at the Not-Going-Back-to-School picnic a few weeks ago and hit it off… we talked about tons of things and we have a lot on common and today I was invited to talk on the show and will most likely be back to talk about a few more things in the future.. I was nervous but it was fun!

The time passed by so quickly and I could have said so much more but I am so grateful to have been on the show and talking about something that means so much to me.

Here is a link to the program.. I come on about half way though after a pre-recorded interview with Ina May Gaskin!

In the Motherhood hosted by Trixie Dumont