Misc Ramblings – Page 67 – a hippie with a minivan

nothing’s happening…

Well… I am still pregnant….

I really thought that the other day would have been the day but no…. I went to bed and the contrax continued and then faded away into the night… the babe also moved back into an ROA position…

Xavier is a bit sick and I am not feeling well wither so I convinced Simon to stay home with me yesterday… and again today…

During the night some really weird feeling contractions woke me up quite a few times.. they didn’t hurt at all but my whole body shook before it came and then tightened… though it wasn’t painful, it was distracting enough to wake me up… and this morning the babe was back LOA…

I have a feeling that he or she is looking for the way out but like the boys just can’t find the way into my pelvis and can’t engage…

So I have been spending time on the birth ball as much as I can… trying to open my pelvis as much as I can…

Hopefully it will work soon…

Letting go of some fears…

I’m contracting at the moment.. I don’t know if this is it or not yet and I don’t want to get my hopes up… they are getting painful though and I have dilated a bit… so the contractions are doing something…
However, there are some fears that I need to let go of however before anything does happen..

First, this labour will be different, I feel it, I have felt it for months now. The position is different, the discomforts are different. I have never experienced labour in a normal way… just hours of back labour… back labour that lasted until the last few minutes… Though some say it is worse… I don’t know… that is all I know about labour… It is this fear of the unknown that I need to get rid of…

I am not scared at all about having a UC, I am ready for it, I feel ready, I trust my body and I trust my instincts… I have been wondering though if these other fears that I have been having have been inhibiting my contractions to go anywhere for the last 2-3 weeks… I have had hours of prodromal labour that have fizzled out… and each time i happened when I thought about the actual labour, the unknown of it all… the unknown of a labour that may progress normally…

I am letting go of these fears now…. it may not happen tonight, tomorrow or even this week but it will happen and I know that I can do it…

Here is a list of some positive affirmations that I will be telling myself…

My mind and body can handle a labour of any kind.
I will have a strong and healthy baby.
I trust my body to know how to birth this child.
I trust my instincts to know what I need in labour.
I trust my instincts to do what is best for my baby.
I trust my pain
I embrace the concept of healthy pain.
Good strong contractions help my baby come into the world.
I am now willing to experience all my feelings.
My body is beautiful, capable and strong.
My body knows how to have this baby, just as my body knew how to grow this baby.
I feel confident; I feel safe; I feel secure.

Thanks for all of the comments…

keep them coming if you haven’t already commented… It is really fun to see who is actually reading the blog…

The private posts will not be much really… some regular like posts, some extra pics, maybe some rants etc… but mostly stuff that I would like to keep semi-private but still want to share with those that read my blog on a regular basis etc…

privacy…

I am making a few posts private.. Login to see them if you are registered… There will be a private post that you can see… please comment on it so that I know who can see it and if things work…

thanks 😉

ETA: some new users may not see the private post right away… I need to adjust the post level for it to happen… but it shouldn’t take long… unless of course I am sleeping… or in labour 😉

another walk….

The walk a few hours ago felt so good that I needed to go for another walk with Simon and the kids… again it was short walk but again it felt so good…

This time however I had contrax coming every few minutes… Not really painful but mildly uncomfortable… when we got back Simon proposed a fire in the back yard… contrax keep on coming but not regular and not too strong… just more gearing up I guess…

So I just came in, the kids are in the bath and my clothes and skin smell like smoke and the fresh fall air…