again…

I feel pretty disappointed in myself at the moment..

Last year I was swimming on a regular basis… making sure that I went at least 2-3 times a week…

I felt great, had more energy and was losing weight… then the summer came and the hours of the pool changed and then I had our wonderful and long trip to BC and the routine went out the window… when I got back form BC I made an effort to go and did for a few weeks and then we got sick and it started to get cold and since the routine was already lost I just haven’t been back…

I feel awful…. really… not just mad at myself for not going back but I have less energy and I feel like I am gaining weight…

Anyway… Tomorrow I am going back…

I am writing it here so that I feel the obligation and I told Simon to order me to go tomorrow…

I have to get back into this routine… for my own sake…

I feel weird today…

The more healthy I eat, the less processed and more whole, the better I feel…

I am also quickly realizing that when I don’t eat well I feel it… something that didn’t happen as much even a year ago…

Yesterday… I didn’t eat well at all… it was delicious, I didn’t overeat, it was homemade and yummy… but it was greasy (both lunch and supper) and then followed by a bit too many snack size chocolates and today I have been experiencing the consequences…

Feeling this way kind of makes me happy in a weird way…

My diet has been improving more over the last years… and when I was not eating well on a regular basis, a day like yesterday would not have phased me or my body… as I am sure is the case with many others that do not eat well on a regular basis… and because it doesn’t make you feel  “worse” then it is hard to change your habits…

but now, knowing that I don’t feel well after eating certain things makes me want to eat better.. not just because I know that it is good for me, but because my body says no also…and I want to avoid feeling like I did this morning…

That is a big step I believe…

getting back into the routine…

Last week I finally got back in the pool to do laps…

My trip back west gave me 5 extra pounds though surprisingly I haven’t gained any inches and even more surprisingly things are filling as well or even bigger than before…I am not too sure about how that happened…I bought another pair of jeans last week and bought a size 16… I never thought that I would do that so soon… It makes me feel great though!

now I want to start losing again…

I thought that getting back in the pool would be hard… but again to my surprise it isn’t.. the first day my rhythm wasn’t there as much but it came back pretty quickly and today I am at the same level as I was before the summer hours hit…

So I am getting back into my routine of 2-3 nights a week and it really shows in the way I feel overall…

Getting out and swimming for an hour makes me feel great… I sleep better and the next day and for the next few days I feel that It gives me energy and I feel less lazy… I want to do things…

I even clean the house more…

I bought clothes…

ok… ok… maybe not that news worthy to some… but for me who never buys clothes… well it is something worth mentioning…  honestly…

I have never spent so much in one day on clothes in my life!!! actually I have never even spent 1/3 of what I spent yesterday…

I really needed it though…

All of my clothes were too big…

I was at the mall a few days ago and I had Khéna on my back and Xavier was telling me that my shorts were falling down and when I checked they were half way down my bum… I was waiting to lose a little more weight before I bought a few things but  It just hit me that there is no more delaying it…

So… I started trying out clothes and at first was looking at the sizes that I am used to…

A few months ago… I was wearing a size 22-24 so I started looking at those but then realized that I was there because it didn’t fit anymore… so I asked an employee what size she thought I was and she said 18… so I tried one on and yep!!! 18! I can’t believe that 30 pounds took that much off!!

So I bought…

-2 new bras ( and I mean real bras… not nursing… REAL…. I haven’t bought a real bra in about 7 years!… my boobs went from droopy and navel gazing to HELLO THERE!!!)
-clear straps for the bras to wear with my spaghetti strap tops…
-2 tank tops
-2 t-shirts
-denim bermudas
-Khaki bermudas
-a pair of jeans
-black shorts
-lounging pants
and a bathing suit…

you can just imagine what I spent… 😐

But… I wanted to cover all of the basics… so that I can use what I have in my closet that still fits and also everything I bought is mix and match…

It felt so weird spending all that money on clothing for me…

and I have to admit that I kind of even liked trying on new clothes that fit well and make look and feel pretty good if I may say so myself…

eta… a few pics…

Plateau…

I am on a plateau right now… still hanging around 223-224…

The pool went into Summer hours and it makes it a lot harder to go… I would have to leave the minute Simon gets home to get my hour in… which would mean that supper would have to be done completely before Simon gets here… (I often use the time Simon gets home to go into real action with supper…) and that I would not be able to eat with the family… or eat a hot dinner…

I need to get walking more… or biking or something… I need to get off of this plateau and start losing again…

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