Put one foot in front of the other….

And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

You never will get where you’re going
If you never get up on your feet
Come on, there’s a good tail wind blowing
A fast walking man is hard to beat

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don’t be the rule be the exception
A good way to start is to stand

OK… OK…. it’s not the holidays anymore but this song from the old animated “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” has been running though my head these last few days..

No, I am not trying to change from bad to good, but things are steadily moving and it is because I keep on forcing myself to just take that next step, to put one foot in front of the other. Doing so is actually make things change and each step brings us one step closer to where we want to be…

 This weekend we got the house all clean and ready for a home visit… actually two home visits! One of them was a call out of the blue that we got on Saturday but the other was the girl that had contacted me with interest in the house. She came over on Sunday afternoon with her daughter, and spent an hour here looking around, taking pictures and asking questions. She loves the house and they are going to the bank tomorrow and if everything is OK, then they will be making an offer.

I have been taking more pictures of things to try to sell these days and have been putting them up and putting the money we are getting in out “moving jar”. I am finding it hard at times because it feels like I am attached to stuff that I don’t even use… like some of the kids toys… but I also know that we won’t miss it and that I don’t want to move it… it is SO hard!!

I would love any tips of how people deal with getting rid of things… how to let go… I don’t understand why it is so hard for me…

On big thing that I am worrying about at the moment is financial stuff. We have a comfortable life right now. We don’t have much extra but we are not struggling and it is good. But where I want to go is somewhere where not only we will have a lot less money, even when we find a job, but rent will be more than what we are paying from our mortgage now…

I feel panicky when I think about it… how will we get by? how will this work?

I feel like the chips will fall into place but what if they don’t… what will we do?

The fear of failure or hardship is what has been stopping me from making these steps before and that fear is still immobilizing now…

But then I think of this quote…

?”Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.”

~~Will Rogers~~

Trees in McClymont Park

Holding my breath…

Since the house went up for sale I feel like I have been holding my breath…

There is a part of me that wants it to sell fast and just move to the next step and there is the other part of me that doesn’t want any change. I think the part of me that doesn’t want any change is not only scared but is also a bit lazy.

I mean, selling the house means that I need to get into gear and keep the house clean and keep on decluttering… so of course I rebelled against myself and went ahead and bought the juicer that I have been wanting.

(Omega 8006)

New Juicer

Something else to move of course, but on the flip side, hopefully getting more veggies in my diet will help me have more energy…  and honestly, I don’t think I will be able to afford it once we move…

This weekend we went through Wilhelmina’s drawers, taking out everything that doesn’t fit and adding clothes that we had ready for her size. I have already given about 4 Garbage bags full of old clothes but I keep on finding more bags and bins  everywhere. Though I would like to continue to give all the clothes away, I have decided that I was going to put in the time to take pictures and try to sell some of it. We have to think about actually funding this move and every little bit will help at this point…

juicer aside…

So since this morning I have been choosing the pieces of clothing that still look good after four kids, putting them into age groups and taking pictures. The rest will be given away as usual.  I seriously don’t understand how we have accumulated SO much! But I guess that is what happens when you put things aside instead of dealing with it as it comes.

There is so much that needs to be done before we move.


This post lay dormant on my computer today as I wrote bits and pieces of it… and then just while I was making supper I got a message over facebook with interest in the house. She asked tons of questions and asked for more pictures and knows and loves the neighbourhood and was actually looking for a house here. They already had an appointment at the bank next week to see if they could transfer their mortgage and they think that this would be the perfect house… wow! Even more perfect is that they are not in too much of a hurry to get in right away because they also have a house to sell… so we would have a bit of time to get ready 🙂

I am a bit in shock at the moment…

A new year…

The holidays are over and a new year is beginning.


On the 31st of December, my grandmother died.

(Willa with her great-grandmother)

Willa and great-grandma
She was 92 and had Alzheimer’s and though she could still remember some, she was declining. At Christmas, she got the flu and a lung infection. My father got sick at the same time and as he already has lung disease, he went into the hospital within days of getting sick. My grandmother got better but then became sick again and died two days later.
The same day she died I went to a friend’s for a new years party. I felt conflicted but it was exactly what I needed. We had a great evening and great conversations into the night. I met new people and made new friendships with people I already knew. We slept over and continued our conversations until we left mid afternoon. With my grandmother’s death I felt the need to visit my dad and my other grandmother who was bringing in the new year with a few other family members. Spending new years with my family is something I haven’t done in years but I headed to Montreal with an open mind. It turned out to be a very nice visit with my uncles, aunt, my cousin and my mom. And, of course, my grandmother was so happy to have the family there.
We got home and spend the next two days relaxing and just having family time and doing some basic cleaning.

Simon went back to work today and the kids are playing and I just went over our budget and then entered my breakfast in my food log and I have a feeling this is going to be a good year.

We are still planning on putting the house up for sale this year and slowly our decluttering efforts are changing the way our house looks and runs. During the holidays I decluttered our room. Now, all the clothes I have are ones that fit and that I will and do wear. Doing the closet left enough space for us to move Simon’s dresser into the closet which meant that we could move Wilhelmina’s bed into our room. Not only does it make the room more functional but even if we have one more piece of furniture in the room, it actually looks bigger and even less cluttered.

I don’t make resolutions with the new year but something has clicked in the last few days. Though I have recording our expenses and “budgeting” for years, I realized I was making mistakes. But now, I recognize those mistakes… and when you know better, you do better. With a new view on finances and a big goals for the year I am starting the year off fresh and with plans and I am feeling inspired.

Catching up….

Last weekend with all we did in the house, I didn’t get around to taking the holiday pictures that I wanted in front of the tree to include in the family picture book I am making. So on Monday, I asked all the kids to get dressed, got dressed myself and took pictures. Simon wasn’t there and Wilhelmina was in a bad mood, so taking pictures was a bit interesting, but it worked!



Not only did I get photos of the kids, Xavier took the camera and got some photos of me and Willa as well…

Wilhelmina and I

And even a rare photo of me nursing… not that I don’t nurse often… it feels as though she is always nursing at the moment… but because it is rare that I am in front of the camera instead of behind it. Honestly, the only way I get pictures of myself is when I ask for a picture to be taken…

She looks so small cuddled in my arms nursing…

Nursing my girl...

Another thing we did last week is to go to the hospital with Wilhelmina for a follow-up Mag3 Renal scan…. The test was a bigger one than I thought. For the other tests in nuclear medicine she would have a dye injected and then we would wait a few hours and then head back for images. This test however started the second that the dye was injected and because timing is everything in this one, and there were two injections involved and her bladder needed to drain etc. our first stop was the nursing station where she had an IV and catheter put in. The nurses were amazed at how well she reacted to having the IV put in. She wasn’t happy, but didn’t fight and didn’t need to be held down. I told them that her veins were awful and they saw what I meant when they put the needle in and her vien rolled away. The nurse was patient, took a deep breath and changed the needles direction and got it. Only one poke and a rare one of the many, many IV’s that blood return. The second she got it and I told her “I love you” she said it right back directed at Wilhelmina for how easy she made it. They hooked up the IV so that she would be hydrated and then put the catheter in which was not fun at all. When the catheter was in she cried and cried and screamed peepee until I told her to just let it go and pee around the catheter… she did and it helped.

We headed to the nuclear department and she was strapped to the table (her arms free) and they injected the dye and the test started. The camera was under her and nothing moved so she just talked to me, watched a movie and held my hand. At the 30 min mark they injected a diuretic (the goal of the test is to see kidney function and see how well they drain) and they helped her empty her bladder with the help of the catheter and she stayed calm through the whole test. Another 25-30 min later they analysed the test quickly to make sure at least 70% of her kidneys had drained, they did so we were able to leave right away.

We went to see her doctor after the test but he was in surgery so the secretary said that we would get the result either by the end of the day or the day after… He called the next morning to tell us that everything looked great. Only one more test in a month and then we will hopefully be able to put this all behind us.

The last thing I want to catch up on is what we are doing in the house. I am not completely finished the kitchen but we are a bit closer. I was able to clear up a problem spot that we had next to the water machine.

I found a picture of what it used to look like… that little container with drawers was where we kept blank paper, makers etc… and that basket above it was mostly things that I wanted access to but that did not have a “home”. We would tidy it up often but within a day or two it would go back to looking like that…

Furthermore, I had a high storage bin with drawers in the sewing room with craft stuff that was never being used because it was out-of-the-way. So I decided to bring that into the kitchen in the opposite corner, clear it out and again only keep what we will use. that cleared up more than enough space to put the stuff that was in that basket. The smaller bin now has a crayons, pencil crayons and markers all in their respective drawers and can be put on the table when the kids are using it.

That space that got cleared up ended up being the perfect size for my dehydrator. I was getting ready to put the dehydrator in a bottom cupboard but that would mean that I would have to get it out and move things around when I wanted to use it. So having it out-of-the-way but plugged in is great for me and now I have that much more counter space back. It’s great!

I also did my kitchen drawers. I was surprised that I didn’t need to take much out as I use most of it on a regular basis, but it did need a big over haul of organization and once that was done it looked like it al took up only half the space that it did before.

The other thing we tackled was our room. I went through my clothes and took out what I just don’t wear even though I might like the idea of wearing it and then cleared out our closet and got all of the dust out. We really don’t have much clothes hanging so our next step might be to put Simon’s dresser in the closet and then we could put Wilhelmina’s toddler bed in our room, she has never slept apart from us but I think it would be fun for her to have a space of her own.

So the big cleanup is continuing and our regular house work seems to be suffering a bit because we are focusing on the stuff behind the scenes. But when we do clean up now, things are actually being put away instead of travelling from one temporary home to another and are now gaining permanent homes.

I am loving the results and can only see more positive ahead.


This weekend was not perfect but we did make some progress…

When I was out grocery shopping at my usual time late Saturday morning, I was reminded why I no longer want to keep that habit. Not only are there so many people but it takes up such a large chunk of our day and therefore the weekend. I have always liked to go grocery shopping on Friday evening. There are no lines, the isles are quiet, the shelves are well stocked and then we have the whole weekend to ourselves. So I am going to try to change my habits and go then.

So what progress did we make this weekend? Doesn’t sound like much but more than half of my kitchen is decluttered. Though it might not look like we did much from on first glance it’s the inside that counts right? I wish I would have taken pictures of before!

In those cupboards, everything that we don’t and won’t use is gone.

Everything that we want to use is accessible.

Things that should be together are together.

Things that we had too many of have been trimmed down.

I even went through all of my tea, some boxes were even years old So I threw out nearly everything that I haven’t used in the last few months. The thing is, I love tea.. but I have my favourites and though I love those other flavours, when I open my cupboard to make myself some tea they are never the ones I reach for, so why keep them?

Because we go rid of so much I was able to take out two shelves from two cupboards to accommodate larger things to clear up space on my counter and in other cupboards. That means my blender and food processor are put away but are easily accessible in the cupboard above my usual workspace. Next step is to find a place for my dehydrator which will free up tons of counter space.

I am so inspired… Now everything has a logical space. I can’t wait to tackle my dreadful drawers next!

That’s a big deal for me… I actually want to do it!

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