April 2009 – Page 3 – a hippie with a minivan

Still hanging on…

I went to bed at about 8pm last night, watched a movie on my Zune and fell asleep around 9… This morning at 4am I had a cramp and went to the bathroom and was bleeding more and passed a few clots… I had a few cramps but nothing bad and they would go away when I turned over… so nothing like labour pains but I thought that the real thing must be coming so I asked Simon to stay home…

Yesterday what was really hard was that I felt a bit lightheaded and I had the stress of thinking something may happen and that I would be alone with the kids…

He stayed and when he got up to send an e-mail to his work I fell back asleep… I got up a bit later and the bleeding was less again…

I came upstairs and had another light cramp and felt another small gush and passed another clot… the bleeding has again been less since then…

After a while I thought of calling the midwife that had come to my house two days after Khéna was born and that had filled in the papers for the birth registration… I called her home and was given her cell number… she remembered me well and I explained the situation and she told me that it was not over yet and that it doesn’t sound at all like a miscarriage at this stage.. it may very well happen but it could also be unrelated… she confirmed what I thought that a miscarriage would be at least as heavy or heavier than my normal period and that I would most likely have strong cramps even at this early in the pregnancy and confirmed that it is best to stay home unless I was bleeding heavily enough to be filling two pads in an hour for more than a few hours…

If things happen, they will happen and I accept that… but it is not over yet…

So again, I am thinking and accepting the worst but I still have hope for the best…

it is an emotional rollercoaster that is for sure…

bleeding…

This is going to be a lot of TMI (to much information) so skip if you wish…

(more…)

worried…

I am bleeding a bit today…

There isn’t much, and by that I mean that it is not getting on a pad, ….but it is way enough to feel worried…

it is bright red, only when I wipe and I don’t have any cramping either… I just feel weird and numb right now…

Though I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant right away, I had accepted it and was getting excited… so now this just feels a little surreal…

It is one of those things that the more you read into it, the less sure and more confused you get. I know I just have to wait and see but I don’t know what to think, what to expect and I don’t feeling like this…

so here we go again…

Wow… I have to admit that am still under the shock of finding out that we are going to have a fourth!

The three boys all have 2years and 2months between them and I was enjoying them becoming more independant, so I was wanting Khéna to be a bit older by the time we had a fourth….

I have admit that on the petty side I was looking forward to celebrating our upcoming anniversary with a few drinks.. it will be the second time we have a date night without the kids in nearly 7 years (the first was 3 years ago when I was pregnant with Khéna and we went to a wedding while my mom stayed with the boys)

We will still go out of course, but we won’t be needing a taxi…

Anyway… with the boys I was “trying” to get pregnant…I even tested a few days before AF was due… but this time I was waiting… and waiting… and AF didn’t come and I just wasn’t thinking about it at all until I realized that I was a few days past… wow … my signs were completely off this month…

So… I’m right at the begining… 5 weeks and a bit I believe and I am bloated or something cause my pants are getting way too tight… I remember the same thing happening when I was pregnant with Khéna…

Yesterday I left the boys with Simon and they headed to the Butterfly exposition at the Montreal Botanical Gardens with Simon’s dad and his girlfriend… (they tookI took that time to have fun shopping in Montreal… I headed to Plaza St-Hubert heade for a liquidation centre that I know of to get some cheap jeans to modify into Maternity jeans but I ended up parking infront of Thyme and walked in and they had a whole wall of clothes on sale.. and I was able to pick out a whole wardrobe for about 10$ a piece…

After that I walked about a bit more then I head out to the west Island to a great Sushi shop that I have been dying to get back to… I took a chance and called a friend to meet me there and luckily she was free so I got to hang out with her for lunch and then got some treats for the boys and then headed to see my friend Gen and her twins… omg.. they are 10 weeks old and SO gorgeous!!!

Simon went out walking with the boys after the butterflies and then called me when he was ready for me to go meet him… I headed downtown and picked them up and then went and got some fabric for a new skirt that I want to make for myself…then we headed home…

Anyway… It was good to be out and it was weird to be buying maternity clothes already… I am not ready to wear them yet but they will be there when I need them… the skirt I am making will also be something to wear through the summer and even into the fall with the colours that it will be… the fabric I found is just gorgeous!