I haven’t been writing much, honestly I haven’t been doing much…

I am now at more than 39 weeks and in pain.. I had a great massage and chiro appt last week that helped me a lot for a few days, but the weekend with grocery shopping and the blessingway tired me out completely… Nights have also been rough and I seem to have a waking period at about 3am and then I can’t get back to sleep…

So my daily pattern has been being a boring mom that does just the minimum during the day while Simon is at work, making supper, eating and then heading to bed to relax (with the laptop, my mp3 player or my Nintendo DS etc…)… I don’t fall asleep any sooner than usual but at least I can be more comfortable than if I am upstairs… then sleep until I wake up for a few hours in the night and then luckily I seem to be able to fall asleep again around the time Simon gets up and I sleep for another hour or two…

Though I do enjoy many aspects of being pregnant, chances are that this is my last pregnancy and especially because of the SPD, I am feeling OK with that… I love feeling the baby move, I love the anticipation of meeting our new child, I actually love giving birth… but, I don’t want to experience this pain again…

It is amazing how the end of pregnancy seems to take over life, Simon is a bit on edge and getting everything ready to leave work at any time,  every twinge has me wondering if it will lead to another, prodromal labour for hours at times messes with your brain and every day is a waiting game…the baby isn’t engaged yet but is mostly hanging out in a good position.. I would like to do more on the exercise/birthing ball but the SPD won’t allow it… I feel OK while on the ball but it is after that is the problem…

I would also love to go for a walk but I don’t feel stable enough in the snow and Ice… (especially since I fell a few weeks ago in front of the grocery store) and I know that though it would feel good, I would be in more pain while walking and especially after…

The boys are also ready for the birth, we had an amazing talk the other other day about the uterus, the cervix and how it all works… though Khéna’s understanding is limited to understanding that there is actually a baby in there and that it will come out and have “maju”, the older boys, especially Xavier really seem to understand what will be happening physically during labour… It makes me realize that there is a quite an age difference between the oldest and what will soon be the youngest…

So, yes, tired of being pregnant, tired of the pain… but within 3 weeks it will be over, within 3 weeks it will all be forgotten, within three weeks we will be meeting be a family falling in love with the new little member… I hope it is sooner than later…

After a lot of thought I have decided to invite a friend to the birth if I feel the need…

Though I need to be alone in labour, I also need someone there to do certain things for me, bring water, bring tinctures,make tea and help clean up afterwards and of course, be around for the kids. Though Simon is an amazing help, depending on the time of the birth and the kids needs I don’t want to expect that he can do everything. Of course if things happen in the night and there is no need to be a parent then things will most likely go smoothly but if not, I think it would good thing to have someone else here.

Furthermore, though Simon’s usual route to work takes about an hour and half (we live almost 100km away) if I were to call him in the daytime when there are no express buses, the route would take about 3 hours. Depending on how labour is progressing, I am not too sure about my feelings of being a mom of three for three hours while having contractions.

The friend that I have invited is a fellow UCer, a UCer that knows exactly why I feel the need to birth alone, because she has the same reasons. I know that she will not panic, that she will not be invasive, that she will be what I need her to be. Either to take care of the kids, or be around when Simon is doing so, just be another pair of hands to help. She also lives on the route that Simon would take to get back home, so if something were to happen in the daytime, she could leave her kids with family, in the time that it takes for Simon to get to the Metro and she could pick him up and do the rest of the route together. Shaving at least an hour, if not more, off of the travel time.

It was hard decision to make, to have someone in “my space” while giving birth, but I feel a relief that if I need someone, she will be there and she will be exactly what I need. She is pretty excited too 🙂

I looked back on my old pregnancy blog with Khéna written at about the same time that I am now in my pregnancy and it reads exactly like the way I feel now…

I have to admit that I am officially tired of being pregnant. This pregnancy was pretty easy up to a few weeks ago when my pelvis started to really hurt.

If it wasn’t for this Pelvis pain I would be OK… still tired maybe but not as much as now… The worst times for me is when I am laying down, so the bed actually looks like my enemy… I can’t sleep because I hurt too much, I can’t twist and turn because the pain is excruciating… So I stay in the same position all night and just doze lightly… when I need to finally move I have to go really slowly onto my back… I can’t roll because my pelvis is locked into place so I have to lift myself up a bit to turn and then once I am on back I have to release all of my muscles and wait until I hear a big pop in my pelvis and then I can finish turning or get up… of course the first minutes up are so hard also…

Now to add to it, walking hurts and doing things out of the house is a pain…

Shopping for groceries is something that I need to gear up for because walking while pushing the cart is getting to be imposible, but with a family to feed and to shop for I just get it done and then come home, sit down and recuperate.

Besides that the pregnancy is going well… I can’t believe that I am full term now and that I could have a baby at any time… though I fully expect to go to 42 weeks again as I have done in the past, I still hope that this baby will make an earlier appearance like Colin did at 38 weeks..

But then again, my friend Gen will be hosting a Blessingway for me next Sunday, so I would like to still be pregnant at that time…

The calls are also starting to come… since I said the month of Jan for the edd, the first of Jan seemed to be a sort of deadline for some. The questions of when I will be giving birth  have started and the frustrations of some not knowing when because I won’t give a date have also started… I just answer now within the next 5 weeks and they will know after the baby is there…

I am also feeling more ready to have a new baby in the house, there are still things on my to-do list like get the car seat out and get it installed, find the baby blankets and baby socks but if a baby were to arrive before those things were done, it wouldn’t be that much of a big deal since those things are just in the cedar closet of the shed…

As long as we have the things that I want  for the birth (I bought the sink adaptor for the pool hose yesterday) and we have towels and embroidery floss etc is what is the most important for me…

Ah… the last weeks of pregnancy..