a hippie with a minivan

sitting pretty..

KhÃ©na has only been on the floor for a few minutes a handful of times and I just started recently… he is mostly always in my arms or being worn or in Simon’s arms like I believe a young baby should be…

One of the things that I am really annoyed at hearing is that tummy time is important (it is of course if a baby is in containment devices all day), that babies shouldn’t be held too much, or the myth that they won’t learn how to sit, crawl, walk etc if they are always in arms or being worn…

well… I put KhÃ©na on the floor earlier today and sat him down and here he is…

and a few pics just because he’s cute….

stella the friendly ghost…

Yesterday morning started with Xavier wanting to bring Simon breakfast in bed, something that he had decided on the night before… Though I did help him a tiny bit by getting a plastic bowl and glass out, he did the rest… juice (diluted of course) and cereal were on the menu and he brought them to the room served on a strawberry tray..

Later in the afternoon they went for a walk and Xavier decided that he wanted to bring his babies in the toy stroller with him… he has been taking care of his baby a lot lately which is a lot of fun to see… especially when we went shopping and he brought his baby in the homemade pouch that I made for him….

Then, during the bath he told Simon that he sees a ghost and she is his friend…. in a short time it became Stella, his ghost sister that lives in the walls… she fell asleep on the couch next to him last night that ate ghost bagels at the table this morning… and then played with him and Colin in the playroom… he has even convinced Colin of her…

I like her… she is quiet…

know better… do better…

After letting our diet slip into a more mainstream diet and having TV be watched a bit too often at the end of the pregnancy…. Going back to a whole food/ natural food diet and cutting a lot of TV time has made way for many changes in the boys…

The last weeks has been great… the boys fight but not as often, just normal brotherly “love” stuff now… they play and laugh and make up stories with toys, play together etc… Xavier is not screaming as much and the house is just a lot more calm…

I really believe that their “behaviour” was a direct result of our slip in diet… I feel awful for it, but as the saying goes… when you know better you do better…

It wasn’t a big slip mind you, and not at all near to a “normal” mainstream diet that I see some people have, but it was enough to make a difference….

I also really love to see that behaviour can be curved by diet and positive parenting and it is not punitive “discipline” that is the answer as so many are led to believe…

No spanking, hitting, tapping, slapping, or any other synonym that basically means beating a child into submission…

No withdrawal of love, instilling fear of abandonment, naughty chair, time out or other synonym of conditional love….

No bribing or rewards for everything so that they won’t do anything without expecting something in return…

The kids know that whatever they do we will love them… It is not conditional to what they do…

In practicing unconditional parenting they are learning to do the right things for the right reasons.. not because they have the fear to be punished and not because they want praise but because they want to do the right thing…

I have to admit that it is hard at times, and we still have things to work on…

it is hard to break the cycle of abuse and conditional love that I experienced as a child… but I will and I am doing it because again..

I know better and I will do better…

Cashew Curry…

I am not a fan of many one pot meals but this is one that I am quite fond of.

The perfect mix of tender and rich cashews with bright vegetables that bring sweetness and a flavourful coconut curry sauce that ties all of it together with a splash of lime to brighten all of the flavours. It only takes a few minutes to come together and you could easily make it in the crockpot.

1 Onion
Garlic
Red pepper
Green onions
Peas
about 2 TbspCurry paste
Red chile paste (Sambal Olek)
can of Coconut milk
about 2 Tbsp of peanut butter
about 2 cups of Cashews
juice of one lime

Saute the onions and veggies until soft (but not too soft), add the garlic, curry paste, and red chile paste…

Add the cashews, coconut milk and the peanut butter and lime juice… simmer about 10 min and let thicken

Serve with rice… sprinkle more lime juice ontop

“I am Selfish”

Rixa wrote a Great response to a comment about her being “Selfish” by choosing UC.

I am Selfish

Another response to an anonymous comment that “in my opinion unassisted birth is not only dangerous but selfish.”

I am selfish. I admit it.

I am selfish because I want a birth experience that leaves me feeling fulfilled as a mother, that gives me confidence and joy.

I am selfish for giving birth at home, because I want to minimize the chances that my newborn will acquire an infection. Infection rates of newborns are many times higher in hospitals than at home. (1)

I am selfish because I want to avoid an unnecessary cesarean section; healthy women birthing at home have average cesarean rates of 1 to 4%, compared to around 20% in healthy women birthing in hospitals.

I am selfish because I do not want my vagina cut open by scissors (the nationwide episiotomy rate is STILL around 30%) or my belly cut open by knives. I have a 60% chance of acquiring a surgical wound if I give birth in a hospital.

I am selfish because I would prefer not to have to go into labor, pack my bags, get in the car, drive to the hospital, check in, sign consent forms, refuse the standard hospital procedures, and fight for what I wantâ€”all while giving birth to a baby.

I am selfish because I do not want to be separated from my baby. I want to hold my baby as soon as she is born. I do not want her to be taken from my arms to be weighed and measured, injected and bathed. I am selfish because I want to nurse her freely, without interruption.

I am selfish because I want to be washed in a â€œcocktail of love hormones,â€ to borrow a phrase from the French obstetrician Michel Odent. These hormonesâ€”endorphins, oxytocin, and prolactinâ€”are released in full force only to women birthing without medications, in safe and private environments. Narcotics, anesthesia, surgery, and even high levels of stress and adrenaline inhibit the release of these hormones.

I am selfish because I want my baby to be born into her parentsâ€™ hands and to know only the safety and warmth of our arms. I want her be born in an atmosphere of love and ecstasy.

I am selfish because I want to avoid postpartum depression. Women who birth at home have much lower rates of postpartum depression. (2, 3)

Sometimes we need to be selfish.

(1) Mehl, L., Peterson, G., Shaw, N.S., Creavy, D. (1978) “Outcomes of 1146 elective home births: a series of 1146 cases.” J Repro Med. 19:281-90
(2) Jones, Carl. Alternative Birth. Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1990 p. 24.
(3) Kitzinger, Sheila. Home Birth. London: Dorling Kindersley, 1991 p. 193.