After a comment was posted last night asking for book recommendations I thought it would be a great time to do a repost of my favourites.
I would guess that many of you already know and love these books but if you don’t, and you have kids, or have kids around you, you need to read them..
The difference between these books and mainstream parenting books are that these are not all “how to” books… they are not books meant to give quick fixes while putting parents into an “us against them” frame of mind with children. They are not all-in-one manuals and instead all compliment each other. These books will change the way you think about children, will help you communicate with your children and will give the tools to recognize that “bad behaviour” is often a symptom of an underlying need that is not being met.
Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason: this book points out what is wrong with the system of rewards and punishments. Kohn focuses on parenting with unconditional love and respect and giving children the chance to make their own decisions.
Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More: This might be a bit more geared toward the older child, but it is a great book to read while children are still young. Neufeld and Mate talk about how society has been putting an emphasis on opportunities to socialize and as a result children are forming attachments to their peers. They point out that attachment doesn’t stop in infancy and it is important to keep our attachment to our children, to be a strong and positive primary role-model until they are able to stand on their own as an adult….
The Continuum Concept: In Search Of Happiness Lost
: Jean Liedloff spent 2 1/2 years in the south american jungle and this is her account. The focus here is to be a very present parent by always having your baby with you but at the same time being very passive and not child-centered.
Playful Parenting: As a play-therapist Cohen shows you how to communicate through play. The book focuses on the importance of attachment in infancy and all the way through the teen years, and goes through all the problems of rewards and punishments, and permissive and over-authoritarian parenting.
Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane): This is not a parenting book per say, but it is a great read. This book gives you the tools to deal with fears we have as a parent and how to teach kids to be safe, without being over-protective. Listen to your intuition.