NaBloPoMo – Page 6 – a hippie with a minivan

First snow..

It was short-lived but fun while it lasted…

The temperature at the moment is abnormally high and though it is very comfortable, I am looking forward to colder weather and more snow.. (after I have my snow tires on though…)

By this time of the year, when all of the trees have lost their leaves and grey and browns are the predominant colours, the world around here looks drab and uninviting, so when the first snow falls it is like a fresh sheet on an old mattress. It is fresh and inviting and we can’t wait to get out and enjoy it…

It also gets the kids out for hours and hours with so many things to accomplish..

Day 21 of NaBloPoMo…

I have tons of things I could write about but I don’t have any drive to actually do it…

Some of the questions and topics that were suggested in the comments were perfect and I tried and tried to start posts but each time I got stuck because I realized how hard it is to write about something that you are no longer experiencing. So I am a bit stuck, only 9 days to go. Each time, I find that by this time of the excercise the habit of writing on a daily basis is starting to forms but the pressure of expecting myself to do so is starting to take its toll… I am like that with everything, as much as I don’t like surprises and like planning, I love to do things on a whim also. I could sew every day but what I sew needs to come from my heart at that moment… I guess the same thing happens with blogging…

So it is day 21 and here I am… figuring out what to do next…

9 more days… I think I can do this…

right?

My top 10 "mom" apps for ipad / ipod / iphone

I love my ipad, though it was a big expense, it was a lifesaver while Wilhelmina was in the hospital and I use it many times a day. It is a luxury, but it is one I would not want to go without now that I know what I would be missing.

The following are my favourite “mom” apps… those that make life easier… those that I just go to on a daily basis.

abcnotes

ABC notes is a fun little application in which you can create post-it notes. What I love about it is that it is quick to open and then you can write a note within seconds.. You can have up to 15 virtual desktops which can contain as many notes as you want and I have a certain themes for each desktop so that all my hospital notes are in one place, ideas on another, to do lists etc.

Grocery Gadget

I have been using Grocery Gadget since I got my ipod touch and it is still one of my favourites. It is easy to use and you can use it for multiple lists and the more you use it, the more it remembers the order in which you buy things so they appear at the top of the list. One of my favourite options is being able to take a picture of what I need to buy, which is very handy so that you don’t forget to bring the item to compare when you get to the store (light bulbs etc) You can also use the bar code function and just scan things into the device..both when you finish a product and want more or when you are shopping and picked up the item… but I find that is just a novelty and doesn’t work well for a family that uses little processed, packaged foods. Another option that is available south of the border in the land of coupons , is the e-coupon option. Being able to sync with another device is of course a plus also.

Homebudget

Homebudget does exactly what is says. It helps you plan a budget. We are a 6 person, one income family, so we really need to make sure what is happening with our money. With this app, you enter your expenses, your income, plan your bills and see exactly where your money is going or where it went. You can either sync with the bank directly or you can enter transactions manually, which is great for someone like me because so that I am conscious of exactly what we are spending. When you add a transaction you will also see it come out of the budget so you can see exactly how much you have left. Another useful thing is to see a 6 month trend that tracks expenses, income and budget and you can sync everything with another device.

Homeroutines

For some, housework comes easily… but I am not one of those people. This app has been a way to get me motivated in the house. I customized it for what I want to get done in the day and then I am able to check off the things as I do them. I had tried the same system on paper or a dry erase board in the past but it was never as satisfying and never kept me as motivated as this one does. Not only does it have daily routines, but it also has “zones” which are parts of the house that change each week (or each day) to focus on for 15 min each day so that the little jobs that you often forget to do get done at least once a month (dust the baseboards, catch those cobwebs etc).

ibooks

ibooks is a free ap by apple to read books. I miss the automatic scrolling that I used to have on my palm with isilo, but besides that I have no real complaints. I love being able to read in bed or when I am out and not only read, but have all of the choice that I want and have as many books as I want with me. I also love it for reading pdf’s and can download and keep manuals without the clutter.

loseit

You may not have weight to lose, but I do, and the best way to lose weight is to journal what you eat. This app is actually not made for the ipad yet, but it it is made for the iphone/itouch and can still work on the ipad. What makes it worth it though is that this is not only a free app but it also doesn’t need an internet connection to use; the food database is in the app. When you are connected to the internet however, then a whole community is there to cheer you on, give advice and just give support. Great app and great site!

Paprika

On the other spectrum of food is the Paprika Recipe Manager. This is my hands down favourite Recipe app. Not only is is easy to add your own recipes, put them into categories and search through them, but adding recipes from the web is the easiest thing ever. For bigger sites that have a certain recipe format, all you have to do is click a button in the in-app browser. But for smaller blogs and recipe sites you just select the text and touch a button to say what the text is (ingredients, directions etc) and then you save the recipe. You can also add recipes directly to a meal plan in the app and it will add what you need to a grocery list automatically. There is also a desktop version that can sync with the device but I haven’t bought that yet as I find it a bit pricey.

Flipboard

Enter any feed or site such as facebook, twitter, news sites, blogs etc and not only can you read everything in one app but it is all in an easy to read magazine format that you can just flip though. It is my favourite way to read my feeds and check facebook and news sites. Instead of just links, you can start reading articles right away and if you are interested you just tap on to continue reading. It has changed the way I look as so many sites and how I interact with the internet and the best part is that it is free!

airvideo

When Wilhelmina wants to head to bed at about 8:30, we head to my bed and she falls asleep cuddled with me. At 8:30 however, I am not ready to sleep but I love to hang out in bed and watch a movie or show that I downloaded onto my computer. I used to have to convert the video and then transfer it onto the device which not only took time but space. So when I found out about airvideo, I know it was for me. Now I can head to bed and convert and stream any video from my computer over wifi or even the net.

Pages

If you are a Mac user, you probably know Pages. If you don’t, it is basically the Mac equivalent to Word. Pages makes my list because it is just handy. Abcnotes is good for quick note taking but with pages I can write whenever I want. I can write blog post in bed, while I am waiting in the car and when I was in the hospital with Wilhelmina I was also to write the whole stay while it was happening. What is great about having it on ipad also is that there is no need to save your text and you won’t lose anything even when you have to close it quickly so when you are interrupted or things happen (which is always as a mom) you can stop and continue without skipping a beat.

Occupations (guest post)

[Because I love to read Melissa’s posts so much, I was teasing her a little bit about the fact that she was posting recipes instead of writing, so she said: “Why don’t you write something?” I wasn’t opposed to the thing but I didn’t know what she wanted, and I’m not too good with guidelines and predetermined forms anyway. A few days later, I wrote this on my way back from work, and afterwards figured it could be appropriate. My thanks to her (although now her regular readers will see what a troubled & dreary man she has for a husband), for allowing me to share this inconsequential but heartfelt little piece.]

Occupy Montreal. If I was young and without responsibilities, and not a bread-winner for my Companion & our four children, I would be there right now, with these beautiful Fools [1] who are not only showing their anger & dissatisfaction with the state of our Civilisation, but living it out [2].

Inside a small area, they have erected their tents, thus creating a small community who seemingly has no less a goal than Change & Revolution.

Now, some would call me pessimistic and cynical, but although I am completely on their side I don’t believe that these movements will lead to a lasting and significant alteration of the “way things are done”. No, I don’t think the Occupy participants will see any real effects to their actions, except maybe in their own lives, which is no small feat in itself. I can’t help but think that if they persist and camp through the hardships of our Quebec winter, the people of Occupy Montreal will be forever changed, forever steadfast in their convictions & beliefs.

Recent readings [3] have confirmed for me that our only hope (for our species but also for our planet’s capacity to sustain life) is a major shift, so major that we ? as a global collectivity ? might not be willing (or even able) to embark upon it.

Either that, or an ecological catastrophe of such tragic proportions that not many of us might live through it, or survive for very long afterwards.

Yet… wrong and deluded though I might be… I find myself in the paradoxical position of longing for such a primal, apocalyptic event.

Yes, strangely enough my fondest wish for my children, whom I love more than I could believe possible, is for them to live to see the day when the whole blasted Human Empire crumbles, one way or the other, so that they then could breathe and think in an atmosphere (physical and intellectual) which is free from Poison.

Desolation, the last painting of Thomas Cole‘s cycle called The Course of Empire

[1] I say “fool” in the Fool on the Hill sense, in the archetypal Tarot sense.

[2] So a few days ago, during my lunch hour, I walked to the site of Occupy Montreal with my friend, and we talked of it, and I left there a Ziploc bag containing a short story I wrote a few years ago, as a token of my respect and admiration for them. It’s not much, but that’s all I could think of.

[3] Firstly, a lengthy article called Take What You Need And Compost The Rest, written by Margaret Killjoy, which I read in #2 of Alan Moore’s excellent but short-lived Dodgem Logic magazine. Secondly, a crucially relevant book which I highly recommend called A Short History of Progress (2004), by Ronald Wright, which has recently been adapted into a movie called Surviving Progress (which I have not seen).

Finding balance…

It is often a question that comes up in parenting, especially when you are co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby wearing and especially homeschooling… How do you find Balance?

However, first things first. What is Balance?

A few years ago I hated the word. Going back to the origins of this blog, it was because of the term “balance” that I started. I was the host of an attachment parenting board on a very mainstream site and all over the board was the term “balance”. See, Dr.Sears was/is a big part of beginning “APers”, especially a decade ago when the components (babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, birth bonding etc) were not talked about and were not mainstream and resources were still quite limited. So being AP was often referred to as a “checklist” and was often about following the the 7 B’s. (OK… another reason I left is that I grew past the term AP) Of course one the Sears’ 7 B’s was balance. So, on the board and in other places, when the topic of co-sleeping came up as not working then in the name of balance, CIO was all of the sudden acceptable. When breastfeeding was tiring and a baby was nursing too often, then in the name of balance you have to wean or give a bottle. So, each time I saw the term balance it in relation to parenting it meant meeting a parents needs at the expense of the child’s needs. It was used as a what I saw as an escape hatch when things were not going as expected. Instead of changing expectations, and doing things a bit differently, it was a way to justify choices… and of course who can argue when someone says that it is done on the spirit of obtaining balance?

But that is not Balance… that would be what I call teeter-tottering… one or the other, all or nothing.

So again, what is Balance?

Wiki has a good description… “In the metaphysical or conceptual sense, balance is used to mean a point between two opposite forces that is desirable over purely one state or the other…. balance being the point that minimizes the negatives of both.”

And how do I find balance? More often than not, achieving balance for me, is not just about finding “me time” and doing things for myself but it is about changing my perspective about the whole situation to begin with. It is about accepting that compromise really does need to be both ways and that basic needs are non-negotiable.

So why is changing perspective the way to achieve balance? Because it is a way to not feel stuck anymore. When I feel stuck, the only way that I see to be unstuck is to do the opposite of what I am doing. But it is usually not the right thing to do. So, by challenging my perspective on things I am able to see the alternatives that will minimize the negatives on both sides.

If I am feeling stuck that my newborn needs me 24/7, the expected answer might be that I need to get away from the situation by having “me time”. Black or white situation. One or the other. But for me that is not balance. If I step back and challenge my perspective I am able to open up to compromise. How can both my baby’s needs and my needs be met at the same time? When I find the answer, I feel relieved because I am not only no longer stuck but I feel balance.

Sometimes, there doesn’t even have to be an alternative solution and balance can be part achieved by solely changing perspective.

One example that comes to mind is baby sleep. In our society, babies are expected to sleep through the night, in their own space, by a certain age even though it is not biologically normal to do so. The expectation is there, and when that expectation is not met, then the parent feels stuck and feels that what they are doing is no longer correct (this often happens at the 8-9 month mark when all kids go through a rough sleep time). So, even though the parent might not have believed in it before, if they feel stuck because of their expectation, then the only alternative is to do the opposite. The thought being, I feel stuck in what I am doing so to achieve balance and feel unstuck, I need to do the opposite. But when I parent steps back and changes their perspective, changes their expectations, the unstuck feeling goes away and then it is no longer a black or white situation. The ‘problem’ might have other solutions or might not actually be a “problem” to begin with.

Another example can be “couple time”. Some people see that couple time is something that is done out side of the house, away from kids on a regular basis. If they don’t get to go out, then they feel stuck. They may even feel that not having that time will be detrimental to their couple. But, if you change perspective you may see that being a successful couple doesn’t need to depend on having alone time without kids. It doesn’t mean that it will never happen but it means that if it doesn’t it is not a big deal. There are many other ways to stay connected even if you have kids around. You can find balance by changing perspective.

This is the same thing that happens in other aspects of parenting…

Looking back at a few old posts…

this about achieving balance in the house without punishments and rewards by changing perceptions and expectations.

this one is about finding a balance between child-led living and authoritative parenting.

This is an old one (2005) and was in part a response to being attacked for being a SAHM in a ‘mommy war’ situation. I wouldn’t write it the same way and might very well rewrite is one day because the overall message is about finding balance and changing perspective to feel comfortable the role as mother. Defining a woman in our society…