Family Life – Page 7 – a hippie with a minivan

a few draining days…

(My father and grandmother)

Last Friday my aunt e-mailed me in the night and told me that my dad was not well and was still in the hospital. My dad has COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) with an extra touch of Bronchiectasis. Around Christmas, he and my grandmother caught the Flu and both of them developed lung infections. My grandmother died as a result and my dad ended up in the hospital, was released and came down with another flu as he left the hospital only to be readmitted the next day. He then spent 3 days in the ICU and then was in isolation and by friday when I got the news he was over the flu but had gained nearly 10 kilo with retained water in his body including his lungs. With the extra water in his body his medications to help get rid of water were upped but the balance was off and his kidneys were failing because they couldn’t keep up with then made his heart work harder. So lungs, kidneys and heart are all making his life quite hard at the moment and with my grandmother’s death and the very likely probability that he would not be strong enough to go to my grandmother’s funeral, his moral was down and it was not looking good.

So, on Friday, I decided to ask Simon to come home and take over here while I headed to the Thoracic Institute in Montreal to see my dad. I got there just as he was being brought out of isolation and being transferred to another room so I was able to help the staff bring his things over and help him place his things where he wanted them. I spent the afternoon with him and tried to bring his morale back up a bit and was taken aback at how weak he actually is at the moment.

I left the hospital but was not ready to head home just yet so I called a friend last-minute and asked her if she wanted to grab supper at a great all-you-can-eat Sushi restaurant. Luckily she jumped at the offer and we had a great evening.

On Saturday, it was my grandmother’s funeral. It was probably the first time in about 20 years that all of my cousins and I were in the same place at the same time. Sad that it is a funeral that brings us together. The service was nice and the priest was quite good and though there was a definite religious tone, he made a point to make it relevant for us non-believers. Tons of memories poured out of my brain while he talked about her. One of my favourites is when I had just met her again when I was about 10 and I would spend a week with her and my dad at her cabin. On rainy days she would cut up old clothes and she would make tiny clothes for my toys all by hand with no pattern. Maybe that is where my passion for sewing comes from.

Because my dad was not there, I took a picture of my grandmother before they closed the casket so that I could show him when I went and brought his some things… she was actually very beautiful and looked so much younger but she wasn’t the grandmother I remember, she was too perfect.

After the service I headed to the restaurant with the family. I sat next to my brother and talked with my cousins and it was strange as we have never done such a thing as adults. It was nice that my family was actually together, though sad because it was grandmothers wish that we would do it, however, we only did it after she was no longer there.

After the restaurant, I brought my aunt home and picked up some things for my father to bring to him at the hospital. Because of the funeral, his day had been packed with guests so he was feeling better of the moral front, but still sick and weak. I didn’t have long to stay, and I knew he was tired so I wondered what I could do for him before I left. I know that he hates being in a room of four and to make matters worse they had placed him in a corner away from the window. The bed by the window had been occupied the day before when he was transferred but it was now free. So I found the head nurse and explained politely and with a big smile and with almost no hesitation she asked for transfer and I helped move all of his belongings and them him to a bed next to the window. He will even be able to see the fireworks that there often are in the old port. Afterwards, I gave out some “guardian angel” pins that the funeral home had given me to bring to my father. It was a small gesture to say thank you but it was well received.

I left the hospital after he was settled in and headed out for supper with another friend. This time I went to ChuChai… one of my Montreal favourites and then went out for coffee to finish the evening.

On Sunday, I was tired. My days were not too busy, but they were emotionally draining.

My dad is not soon to be done his hospital stay. He as least another two weeks depending on how he recovers. I’ll go back on Saturday after my workshops and see him again and hopefully he will be feeling better…

I am looking forward to my next 2 day weekend that I can use just for us.

We need it.

A new year…

The holidays are over and a new year is beginning.

On the 31st of December, my grandmother died.

(Willa with her great-grandmother)

She was 92 and had Alzheimer’s and though she could still remember some, she was declining. At Christmas, she got the flu and a lung infection. My father got sick at the same time and as he already has lung disease, he went into the hospital within days of getting sick. My grandmother got better but then became sick again and died two days later.

The same day she died I went to a friend’s for a new years party. I felt conflicted but it was exactly what I needed. We had a great evening and great conversations into the night. I met new people and made new friendships with people I already knew. We slept over and continued our conversations until we left mid afternoon. With my grandmother’s death I felt the need to visit my dad and my other grandmother who was bringing in the new year with a few other family members. Spending new years with my family is something I haven’t done in years but I headed to Montreal with an open mind. It turned out to be a very nice visit with my uncles, aunt, my cousin and my mom. And, of course, my grandmother was so happy to have the family there.

We got home and spend the next two days relaxing and just having family time and doing some basic cleaning.

Simon went back to work today and the kids are playing and I just went over our budget and then entered my breakfast in my food log and I have a feeling this is going to be a good year.

We are still planning on putting the house up for sale this year and slowly our decluttering efforts are changing the way our house looks and runs. During the holidays I decluttered our room. Now, all the clothes I have are ones that fit and that I will and do wear. Doing the closet left enough space for us to move Simon’s dresser into the closet which meant that we could move Wilhelmina’s bed into our room. Not only does it make the room more functional but even if we have one more piece of furniture in the room, it actually looks bigger and even less cluttered.

I don’t make resolutions with the new year but something has clicked in the last few days. Though I have recording our expenses and “budgeting” for years, I realized I was making mistakes. But now, I recognize those mistakes… and when you know better, you do better. With a new view on finances and a big goals for the year I am starting the year off fresh and with plans and I am feeling inspired.

Xmas 2011

Just a few pictures…

On the eve…

No pictures of the rest of the evening… but we went on to have a great Fondue Supper with my mom and her boyfriend… The boys ate first and then went to bed around their normal times and when they were asleep we had supper and talked into the evening.. Wilhelmina had fallen asleep late for a nap so she woke up as the others were heading to bed and stayed up with us until around 1am…

The presents appeared under the tree in the night and the boys were wide awake bright and early Xmas morning… but it wasn’t too early so all was good…

Ready for gifts….

They were all excited and couldn’t wait to open their gifts…

Wilhelmina got a book, a new doll and a stroller…

She had so much fun opening the gifts though she did it very carefully…

Xavier got a few books, a transformer, a robotic arm, a Zelda game and a Physics Solar workshop

Colin got books, a transformer, a Kre-o transformer set, a play d’oh kit, a crayon maker and Paper

Khéna got a book, a Playmobil Crane, A play d’oh kit with play d’oh and a Hexbug habitat.

The family got a Zoku quick pop maker which is a hit and will definitely be fun for a long time to come…

Simon got a book and a bottle of vodka shaped as a skull,

I got chocolates, a Perplexus Epic and reusable hand warmers…

After my mom left on Xmas morning, she called to say that my uncle had once again been brought to the hospital and was in the ICU because of his diabetes. Is three years in a row considered a tradition? It sure feels like it…. Luckily, it is not as bad as last year when he was in a coma and we almost lost him… but it is not the kind of tradition we wish to have… I am not too worried, so it’s good, I just wish he would choose to control his illness more effectively.

Simon is working two days this week and we have plans for his next few days off but nothing that we don’t want to do… We’re having quiet family time, spending time together and enjoying the holidays. I am loving the lights and the newly fallen snow and the warmth of the house… it feels complete and that is a great feeling to have…

From my family to yours, I hope your holidays have equally been filled with love and joyful….

Catching up….

Last weekend with all we did in the house, I didn’t get around to taking the holiday pictures that I wanted in front of the tree to include in the family picture book I am making. So on Monday, I asked all the kids to get dressed, got dressed myself and took pictures. Simon wasn’t there and Wilhelmina was in a bad mood, so taking pictures was a bit interesting, but it worked!

Not only did I get photos of the kids, Xavier took the camera and got some photos of me and Willa as well…

And even a rare photo of me nursing… not that I don’t nurse often… it feels as though she is always nursing at the moment… but because it is rare that I am in front of the camera instead of behind it. Honestly, the only way I get pictures of myself is when I ask for a picture to be taken…

She looks so small cuddled in my arms nursing…

Another thing we did last week is to go to the hospital with Wilhelmina for a follow-up Mag3 Renal scan…. The test was a bigger one than I thought. For the other tests in nuclear medicine she would have a dye injected and then we would wait a few hours and then head back for images. This test however started the second that the dye was injected and because timing is everything in this one, and there were two injections involved and her bladder needed to drain etc. our first stop was the nursing station where she had an IV and catheter put in. The nurses were amazed at how well she reacted to having the IV put in. She wasn’t happy, but didn’t fight and didn’t need to be held down. I told them that her veins were awful and they saw what I meant when they put the needle in and her vien rolled away. The nurse was patient, took a deep breath and changed the needles direction and got it. Only one poke and a rare one of the many, many IV’s that blood return. The second she got it and I told her “I love you” she said it right back directed at Wilhelmina for how easy she made it. They hooked up the IV so that she would be hydrated and then put the catheter in which was not fun at all. When the catheter was in she cried and cried and screamed peepee until I told her to just let it go and pee around the catheter… she did and it helped.

We headed to the nuclear department and she was strapped to the table (her arms free) and they injected the dye and the test started. The camera was under her and nothing moved so she just talked to me, watched a movie and held my hand. At the 30 min mark they injected a diuretic (the goal of the test is to see kidney function and see how well they drain) and they helped her empty her bladder with the help of the catheter and she stayed calm through the whole test. Another 25-30 min later they analysed the test quickly to make sure at least 70% of her kidneys had drained, they did so we were able to leave right away.

We went to see her doctor after the test but he was in surgery so the secretary said that we would get the result either by the end of the day or the day after… He called the next morning to tell us that everything looked great. Only one more test in a month and then we will hopefully be able to put this all behind us.

The last thing I want to catch up on is what we are doing in the house. I am not completely finished the kitchen but we are a bit closer. I was able to clear up a problem spot that we had next to the water machine.

I found a picture of what it used to look like… that little container with drawers was where we kept blank paper, makers etc… and that basket above it was mostly things that I wanted access to but that did not have a “home”. We would tidy it up often but within a day or two it would go back to looking like that…

Furthermore, I had a high storage bin with drawers in the sewing room with craft stuff that was never being used because it was out-of-the-way. So I decided to bring that into the kitchen in the opposite corner, clear it out and again only keep what we will use. that cleared up more than enough space to put the stuff that was in that basket. The smaller bin now has a crayons, pencil crayons and markers all in their respective drawers and can be put on the table when the kids are using it.

That space that got cleared up ended up being the perfect size for my dehydrator. I was getting ready to put the dehydrator in a bottom cupboard but that would mean that I would have to get it out and move things around when I wanted to use it. So having it out-of-the-way but plugged in is great for me and now I have that much more counter space back. It’s great!

I also did my kitchen drawers. I was surprised that I didn’t need to take much out as I use most of it on a regular basis, but it did need a big over haul of organization and once that was done it looked like it al took up only half the space that it did before.

The other thing we tackled was our room. I went through my clothes and took out what I just don’t wear even though I might like the idea of wearing it and then cleared out our closet and got all of the dust out. We really don’t have much clothes hanging so our next step might be to put Simon’s dresser in the closet and then we could put Wilhelmina’s toddler bed in our room, she has never slept apart from us but I think it would be fun for her to have a space of her own.

So the big cleanup is continuing and our regular house work seems to be suffering a bit because we are focusing on the stuff behind the scenes. But when we do clean up now, things are actually being put away instead of travelling from one temporary home to another and are now gaining permanent homes.

I am loving the results and can only see more positive ahead.

Wilhelmina…

is completely healthy and growing like a weed…

Though it is amazing how fast children recover from sickness and surgery, It took a few weeks for her to get back to normal. Now she is not only back to normal but she is way better than she has been in months.

She repeats everything we say and is stringing sentences together..

This morning she woke up, shrugged her shoulders with her palms up in the air and said “Where is Daddy” so I said he was at work… so she said “ohh” in a sad voice and then widened her eyes, got off the bed and screamed “peepee!!!” as she ran to the bathroom…