Alternative Parenting – Page 35 – a hippie with a minivan

a Khéna update…

Khéna is now just under 5 months old… and he is such an amazing little person.

He almost never cries but he has found out that he can scream… he squeals when he is happy, or when he wants something, when he is bored or uncomfortable… he just loves making that high pitch sound…

EC is going very well… and though he often has a wet diaper when we potty him, he almost never poos in his diaper (average of once every 2-3 weeks or so… if that) We are still having a “problem” when we go out for the day though… he refuses to poo anywhere else than at home, so he holds it in all day… the last times though he hasn’t seemed too upset at the end of the day… however, the day after he does potty many more times…

I love EC though, I love the communication part of it, I love the fact that he never goes long in a wet diaper and never has to sit in his stool… I love the fact that we have listened to his cues since birth instead of ignoring him and teaching him to use diapers as a toilet, and then making him relearn later on… EC is so not about potty-training… it is about communication and the embracing the knowledge that babies can and do have knowledge of their bodies and elimination, however, if they are taught to use the diaper as a toilet they will lose touch with that knowledge.

I wish I would have known about it when Xavier was a baby… I am glad that Colin was ECed from about 2 months old, but I am sad that I didn’t persist during his potty strike when he was about 10 months old… but as I often say… when you know better, you do better…

Khéna has now started nursing a bit less in the day but still nurses quite often… However, he sleeps from about 8pm to about 5am, potties, nurses and will sleep for a bit longer… so his frequent nursing in the day is not a problem! He has also started to eye our food…but of course he still has a few months before he starts to eat…

I think he is finally stopping the rapid weight gain and at almost 5 months he is about 26-27 pounds… just about Colin’s weight and just about 10 pounds shy of Xavier’s weight… I can’t hold him for long in my arms at all, my arms and my back can’t take it, so the wrap, MT or Ergo are lifesavers, I don’t know what I would do without them! A friend came over with her 9 month old recently and not only is he way bigger than her in the chubbiness, he is also as long as her!

Though he can sit now, he still can’t roll over… he tries but he can’t get that last swing in to rotate his hips… a real little Buddha Baby!

Here is my amazing “little” baby….

I think it is now safe to say…

That Xavier has weaned…

When I started nursing my newborn almost 5 years ago I would have never had guessed that I would have nursed this long, I couldn’t even imagine it… Nursing a baby was so foreign to me, I had never really seen anyone nurse… however, I knew that Formula would never touch my child’s lips…

My original goal was a year… but by the time he was 6 months old I knew that I would be letting him wean himself.. I couldn’t imagine taking something away from him that was perfect for his health, that nothing else could come close to nutritionally, that was the perfect comforting tool and that he enjoyed so much. I couldn’t imagine weaning him to the milk of another species just because our society has put a taboo on breasts.

When I got pregnant with Colin I offered often even though it was painful at times… it wasn’t martyrdom to do so, I did so out of respect for his needs. My temporary discomfort was nothing compared to taking away the benefits of nursing… the pain passed and we both continued to enjoy nursing…. Colin was born and Tandem nursing became second nature…

Near the end of my last pregnancy, Xavier went down to nursing once a day and then started to skip days… With the arrival of his newest brother he started to skip days more often and went to once or twice a week and then continued to diminish…

Though he still came to nurse at times, at one point a few weeks ago he suddenly lost the ability to suck…

The last time he tried he was a bit sad because he couldn’t get any milk, but said that though he couldn’t get milk anymore he was still nursing… and then he then gave me big hugs… I think he knows that he is done, but just wants to make sure that he can if he needs to… and though I wouldn’t be surprised if he asks again I think it is now safe to say that we are at the end of our nursing relationship…

I am proud of the fact that I practice complete Child led Weaning… I could never do it any other way.

Of course there were ups and downs in the 4 1/2 years… but what great relationship doesn’t have ups and downs?

Though I have shared it many times before… here is my favourite nursing pic of Xavier and a memory that I will cherish forever… he was 3 1/2 here…

know better… do better…

After letting our diet slip into a more mainstream diet and having TV be watched a bit too often at the end of the pregnancy…. Going back to a whole food/ natural food diet and cutting a lot of TV time has made way for many changes in the boys…

The last weeks has been great… the boys fight but not as often, just normal brotherly “love” stuff now… they play and laugh and make up stories with toys, play together etc… Xavier is not screaming as much and the house is just a lot more calm…

I really believe that their “behaviour” was a direct result of our slip in diet… I feel awful for it, but as the saying goes… when you know better you do better…

It wasn’t a big slip mind you, and not at all near to a “normal” mainstream diet that I see some people have, but it was enough to make a difference….

I also really love to see that behaviour can be curved by diet and positive parenting and it is not punitive “discipline” that is the answer as so many are led to believe…

No spanking, hitting, tapping, slapping, or any other synonym that basically means beating a child into submission…

No withdrawal of love, instilling fear of abandonment, naughty chair, time out or other synonym of conditional love….

No bribing or rewards for everything so that they won’t do anything without expecting something in return…

The kids know that whatever they do we will love them… It is not conditional to what they do…

In practicing unconditional parenting they are learning to do the right things for the right reasons.. not because they have the fear to be punished and not because they want praise but because they want to do the right thing…

I have to admit that it is hard at times, and we still have things to work on…

it is hard to break the cycle of abuse and conditional love that I experienced as a child… but I will and I am doing it because again..

I know better and I will do better…

My new BabyHawk!

I am a bit frustrated at the time it took (2 months!!)…

I e-mailed to ask about it a few weeks after I ordered it and they said that they had sent it a while before and it might have gotten lost in the mail… but she still had some of the material left… so they would make another… BUT they didn‘t have anymore of the other material that I asked for so asked if I could choose another…

A few days later I got the confirmation that they sent it (which I had not gotten before) and when I got it yesterday they had included the leftover material so really… they had lied that they had sent it before…

I am also pretty sure that I didn’t get the longer straps that I had asked for… but since I don’t know how long the straps are usually I don’t know yet… I e-mailed again today and I was asked to measure them but I haven’t gotten a response yet…

Here it is though, and though I am not too happy about the Customer Service right now, the carrier itself is gorgeous!!!!

Cherry Paisley

Alexander Henry (day of the dead)

on chocolate straps….

Just a little update…

Khéna is just about 3 1/2 months old and is about 22-23 pounds now and wearing a size 18 months in mostly everything though we can’t put him in pants because of the length… (he either wears a onsie or just a shirt most of the time with babylegs for easy pottying) Footed PJ’s don”t fit at all because of the length but 2 piece PJ’s fit so he wears those when we are out…

I am not really sure if he can roll over or not because I don’t put him down much, besides when he is sleeping at night he is in our arms.. I sometimes put him in his highchair while we eat though and recently I have put him down on the floor and he is starting to enjoy that a bit… but not for long…

he has never really been on his tummy but I don’t agree that is important anyways because of the baby wearing…

EC is doing great though he still won’t potty when we go out and he holds it in all day which must be very uncomfortable.. we are trying to get him used to going in other places besides on the BBLP in front of the Mirror.. so that maybe pottying elsewhere will be easier…

Khéna loves baths and showers but hasn’t taken that many yet to be honest… but really he isn’t too dirty anyways..

Yesterday however, Simon gave him is first bath alone in the tub (usually I take it with him) and he had a blast splashing and moving…He really loves the water… so I think he is going tp be having them more often…

He still nurses about every 1 hour in the daytime, and though it is a lot he sleeps about 8-10 hours at night… so it equals out… he can and does nurse less when we are out so I really have to make the time to stop and nurse him those days…

Khéna is also cooing and “talking” so much now… he laughs and giggles and smiles at his brothers… He is tickish and just overall really happy…

Here are some new pics!

With Xavier…