EC (Elimination communication) – Page 3

First days…

Wow… I am in love…

Not only do I love my new little girl, but seeing her brothers love just makes my heart melt. The boys are completely amazed and enamored by her… they want to kiss her, hold her, touch her…

Xavier spent at least an hour holding her hand and looking at her while she slept the day she was born..

Colin had to come kiss her at least once every 15 min..

Khéna is just in awe and wants to stay close and always wants to hold her…

Khéna is also adapting to being a big brother amazingly well… I have to admit that I was a bit nervous about how he was going to take not being the baby of the family anymore… having to share mama with someone who needs her more, losing his coveted place in the family bed in front of mama… having to share his “Maju”… but he showing me that I was wrong to be nervous… he is taking it better than I would have hoped for, he is so proud to be a big brother!

My mom came by today to bring me a chicken she cooked this morning so we can make some sandwiches with and she left with Colin and Xavier and brought them to where she is saying near the cabin for two nights… the boys wer excited to go and honestly having the house be a bit more quiet will be nice… Khéna would have wanted to go also but it isn’t the best time, so instead he is doing special things with Daddy alone which he thinks is a great alternative…

As for life with baby… she is amazing… her first night was a bit rough until she had a big poop at around 2am and then finally she relaxed and slept… nursing about every 3 hours or so until morning and then throughout the day… she reminds me so much of Colin as a baby.. she looks like him also, the resemblance is quite amazing..

It was because of Colin that I tried EC for the first time.. he hated being wet, even for a second and would get worked up inconsolably… so letting him potty somewhere else than a diaper was exactly what he wanted and needed…

With Khéna we started when he was 4 days old…when the meconium poos were finished… this time I was hesitating on doing the same, but after seeing her reaction to having a BM and being in it for a few minutes, it reminded me so much of Colin that I decided to try right away… and she has been dry all day… she gives a clear signal that she needs to go and the within a few seconds of putting her over the potty bowl she eliminates… she does cry for a few seconds before going but once she lets go, she stops crying immediately and is quiet and content again… though I have seen it before, it is amazing to see how natural it comes…

I have also fell in love with the prefold belt that I bought… and I am going to be sewing up some of my own very soon… it is such a simple concept but makes things so much easier and it looks so much more comfortable than any newborn diaper cover or diaper that I have tried on my babies…

Wilhelmina is also an amazing nurser… her latch was perfect from the start and she is efficient and just so easy to nurse… my milk is coming in also and it amazing to hear her gulp and drink and be content…

As for me, I lost a little more blood than I would have liked yesterday but I am feeling better today… still a little weak, but better… I am also in pain all over my body… my SPD is better but labour was rough and my body is definately feeling the consequences of that… All I can tell myself is that everything will be better soon…

And Simon… well he is still tired from the night I laboured and is doing so much for everyone and is being an amazing husband and father… I think he is feeling a bit overwhelmed and stretched out but he is taking it in stride… I think that having the older boys with my mom for the two nights will make things easier for him also.. he is also happy to be starting his paternity leave which gives him until August before returning to work…

So, yes, we are all in love and enjoying life with a newborn… It is amazing… she is amazing…

what's next?

ok… someone once asked somewhere when saying that I was a weirdo and “bad mom” because of CLW (child led weaning)… “What’s next? “child-led internet surfing” or “child-led menu planning” or “child-led potty-training” “ (btw… she has since somewhat apoligised, but I haven’t forgotten, or really forgiven… she said some other harsh things)

I think I will deal with these one at a time…

child-led internet surfing… I have to admit… I don’t understand that one… Xavier can navigate quite a few pages of the internet though and I let him… he knows how to go back a few pages, he has self-learned the symbols and colours that often mean yes and no, open and close, play, pause etc in a video… it is actually really surprising what he has learned to do by just doing it… though we are often the ones that open the pages for him (i need to work on a favourites page for him), sometimes if we leave a link on the desktop and tell him about it he can double click it and start games etc… he also now has our old computer set up in the playroom that he can play games on anytime he chooses…

child-led menu planning… umm… why wouldn’t you? We are all members of the family and we all need to eat… why shouldn’t kids have a say in the menu planning?

When I am planning meals for the week I always ask the kids what they want and yes we eat those things, along with things that Simon chooses and I choose… what do the kids ask for? Pizza, fries, soup, pasta, fish, broccoli, mac and cheese, Shepard’s pie, sushi (colin), tacos, bagels, eggs, oatmeal, pancakes and the list goes on… what ends up on the list is a mix of what all of us feel like eating… sometimes it is a meal that I like more than the others, sometimes it is a meal that Simon loves, sometimes it is a meal that the kids love… What is important is to get them used to eating in a healthy way and they will make healthy decisions, pizza is most often homemade, homemade tomato and barley soup, oven fries etc… and if it wasn’t for the kids having a say in the meal-planning we wouldn’t being eating Broccoli or rice… foods that I never liked, but because of the kids liking it and asking me to make it for them, have become important staples in our diet…..

child led potty-training…. umm… of course! what is wrong with allowing someone control over their own body, especially when it is something that they are the only ones that CAN have control over it!

First… EC is exactly that… babes at birth know their pottying needs, they communicate that they need to go, parents choose to listen and aid them in going in a potty, bowl, toilet etc… (something that is the norm in other cultures) or they choose to ignore (by choice or by cultural ignorance) and train the baby to use diapers instead, only to need to untrain and re-learn later on.

It is a bit scary that adults think that they have control over the elimination of another human being. I have seen a few examples of how children are “taught” potty-training… it can be really sad…

If a child has been trained to use a diaper, then they should be allowed to untrain and relearn when they are ready… for some, that may be later, for some it will be earlier… but they will do it when they are ready…

a Khéna update…

Khéna is now just under 5 months old… and he is such an amazing little person.

He almost never cries but he has found out that he can scream… he squeals when he is happy, or when he wants something, when he is bored or uncomfortable… he just loves making that high pitch sound…

EC is going very well… and though he often has a wet diaper when we potty him, he almost never poos in his diaper (average of once every 2-3 weeks or so… if that) We are still having a “problem” when we go out for the day though… he refuses to poo anywhere else than at home, so he holds it in all day… the last times though he hasn’t seemed too upset at the end of the day… however, the day after he does potty many more times…

I love EC though, I love the communication part of it, I love the fact that he never goes long in a wet diaper and never has to sit in his stool… I love the fact that we have listened to his cues since birth instead of ignoring him and teaching him to use diapers as a toilet, and then making him relearn later on… EC is so not about potty-training… it is about communication and the embracing the knowledge that babies can and do have knowledge of their bodies and elimination, however, if they are taught to use the diaper as a toilet they will lose touch with that knowledge.

I wish I would have known about it when Xavier was a baby… I am glad that Colin was ECed from about 2 months old, but I am sad that I didn’t persist during his potty strike when he was about 10 months old… but as I often say… when you know better, you do better…

Khéna has now started nursing a bit less in the day but still nurses quite often… However, he sleeps from about 8pm to about 5am, potties, nurses and will sleep for a bit longer… so his frequent nursing in the day is not a problem! He has also started to eye our food…but of course he still has a few months before he starts to eat…

I think he is finally stopping the rapid weight gain and at almost 5 months he is about 26-27 pounds… just about Colin’s weight and just about 10 pounds shy of Xavier’s weight… I can’t hold him for long in my arms at all, my arms and my back can’t take it, so the wrap, MT or Ergo are lifesavers, I don’t know what I would do without them! A friend came over with her 9 month old recently and not only is he way bigger than her in the chubbiness, he is also as long as her!

Though he can sit now, he still can’t roll over… he tries but he can’t get that last swing in to rotate his hips… a real little Buddha Baby!

Here is my amazing “little” baby….

Just a little update…

Khéna is just about 3 1/2 months old and is about 22-23 pounds now and wearing a size 18 months in mostly everything though we can’t put him in pants because of the length… (he either wears a onsie or just a shirt most of the time with babylegs for easy pottying) Footed PJ’s don”t fit at all because of the length but 2 piece PJ’s fit so he wears those when we are out…

I am not really sure if he can roll over or not because I don’t put him down much, besides when he is sleeping at night he is in our arms.. I sometimes put him in his highchair while we eat though and recently I have put him down on the floor and he is starting to enjoy that a bit… but not for long…

he has never really been on his tummy but I don’t agree that is important anyways because of the baby wearing…

EC is doing great though he still won’t potty when we go out and he holds it in all day which must be very uncomfortable.. we are trying to get him used to going in other places besides on the BBLP in front of the Mirror.. so that maybe pottying elsewhere will be easier…

Khéna loves baths and showers but hasn’t taken that many yet to be honest… but really he isn’t too dirty anyways..

Yesterday however, Simon gave him is first bath alone in the tub (usually I take it with him) and he had a blast splashing and moving…He really loves the water… so I think he is going tp be having them more often…

He still nurses about every 1 hour in the daytime, and though it is a lot he sleeps about 8-10 hours at night… so it equals out… he can and does nurse less when we are out so I really have to make the time to stop and nurse him those days…

Khéna is also cooing and “talking” so much now… he laughs and giggles and smiles at his brothers… He is tickish and just overall really happy…

Here are some new pics!

With Xavier…

On the Potty…

3 weeks old today…

In a few hours it will be three weeks since I gave birth to Khéna, three weeks since he took his first breath, three weeks since I met my third son…

I can’t imagine life without him.

He is becoming so much more aware of the people around him. He looks at us in way that way that shows that he is more aware than we may imagine. Yesterday we went shopping and he was in the wrap pushing his arms out so that his head was free and so that he was looking straight up at me, his eyes and expression were just breathtaking.

He wasn’t just a baby in my arms. He was Khéna Mael. My new little man.

Khéna is a great sleeper still and sleeps pretty much through the night… if he does wake up he nurses a bit, Simon will potty him and then he is back to sleep… since he is co-sleeping he just has to start moving and grunting for his needs to be met so really I don’t think that he really wakes up for any of it anyways… he has a bit of a crying spell during the evening but after making him comfortable and full he calms down and then is ready for the long sleep ahead of him…

EC is doing great… we pretty much catch 100% of his poos now and though we still miss a lot of pees, he always has one waiting for the potty… He surprised me yesterday by not having a bm the whole day and when we got home and during the night he made up for it… His signals are getting so much clearer especially for pooing and he just doesn’t want to use a diaper for that… Hey!!! I don’t blame him!!

On Sat, I put him down to sleep out of arms for the first time and he slept in his Amby for at least an hour and a half… He had not slept out of arms since he was born. By the end of his nap I couldn’t wait to go pick him up, but it felt good to prepare a meal with my hands free while Simon was doing things around the house…

I still can’t believe how big he is… At 3 weeks of age he has outgrown most of the clothes that Xavier and Colin were still wearing at 2-3 months of age… So I now find myself putting all the newborn/3 month old clothes and bringing out the 3-6 and 6 month old stuff…

Anyway… I’m going to take some pics later today but for now I will share the pics of his first nap in his amby bed…