Breastfeeding – a hippie with a minivan

4000

Today marks 4000 consecutive days of breastfeeding.

Nearly 11 years.

I have nursed one,
I have nursed one through pregnancy,
I have nursed two,
I have nursed two through pregnancy,
I have nursed three,
I went back to nursing two,
I nursed two through out half a pregnancy…
Then back to one,
Then nursed two,
And am now nursing one and once she weans, this time will be done.
I can’t imagine what it will be like no longer nursing as breastfeeding has become such a natural part of every day life… for the past 4000 days.

3,780

Do you know what that number means?

It is the amount of days that I have been breastfeeding. Non stop…

First a newborn,

then a toddler nursing throughout a pregnancy,

then a newborn and a toddler,

then a toddler and a little kid throughout a pregnancy,

then a newborn, a toddler and a little kid,

then the little kid got big and turned five and weaned…

then back to a toddler and a little kid,

then two little kids nursing throughout a pregnancy,

then another turned 5 and weaned,

then I was left with a little kid nursing and still pregnant,

then a newborn and a big kid,

then the big kid weaned and I just had a toddler…

and now she is a little kid and still loves her “maju”

If I use a conservative number and say that in average over the 3 780 days that I have been nursing, I have nursed 4 hours a day during that time. Nursing newborns, tandem nursing, triandem nursing, nursing for nourishment, nursing to sleep, nursing for comfort, nursing through sickness and nursing on normal days just because…

I will have already spent more than 15 000 hours breastfeeding.

Pretty amazing isn’t it?

Catching up….

Last weekend with all we did in the house, I didn’t get around to taking the holiday pictures that I wanted in front of the tree to include in the family picture book I am making. So on Monday, I asked all the kids to get dressed, got dressed myself and took pictures. Simon wasn’t there and Wilhelmina was in a bad mood, so taking pictures was a bit interesting, but it worked!

Not only did I get photos of the kids, Xavier took the camera and got some photos of me and Willa as well…

And even a rare photo of me nursing… not that I don’t nurse often… it feels as though she is always nursing at the moment… but because it is rare that I am in front of the camera instead of behind it. Honestly, the only way I get pictures of myself is when I ask for a picture to be taken…

She looks so small cuddled in my arms nursing…

Another thing we did last week is to go to the hospital with Wilhelmina for a follow-up Mag3 Renal scan…. The test was a bigger one than I thought. For the other tests in nuclear medicine she would have a dye injected and then we would wait a few hours and then head back for images. This test however started the second that the dye was injected and because timing is everything in this one, and there were two injections involved and her bladder needed to drain etc. our first stop was the nursing station where she had an IV and catheter put in. The nurses were amazed at how well she reacted to having the IV put in. She wasn’t happy, but didn’t fight and didn’t need to be held down. I told them that her veins were awful and they saw what I meant when they put the needle in and her vien rolled away. The nurse was patient, took a deep breath and changed the needles direction and got it. Only one poke and a rare one of the many, many IV’s that blood return. The second she got it and I told her “I love you” she said it right back directed at Wilhelmina for how easy she made it. They hooked up the IV so that she would be hydrated and then put the catheter in which was not fun at all. When the catheter was in she cried and cried and screamed peepee until I told her to just let it go and pee around the catheter… she did and it helped.

We headed to the nuclear department and she was strapped to the table (her arms free) and they injected the dye and the test started. The camera was under her and nothing moved so she just talked to me, watched a movie and held my hand. At the 30 min mark they injected a diuretic (the goal of the test is to see kidney function and see how well they drain) and they helped her empty her bladder with the help of the catheter and she stayed calm through the whole test. Another 25-30 min later they analysed the test quickly to make sure at least 70% of her kidneys had drained, they did so we were able to leave right away.

We went to see her doctor after the test but he was in surgery so the secretary said that we would get the result either by the end of the day or the day after… He called the next morning to tell us that everything looked great. Only one more test in a month and then we will hopefully be able to put this all behind us.

The last thing I want to catch up on is what we are doing in the house. I am not completely finished the kitchen but we are a bit closer. I was able to clear up a problem spot that we had next to the water machine.

I found a picture of what it used to look like… that little container with drawers was where we kept blank paper, makers etc… and that basket above it was mostly things that I wanted access to but that did not have a “home”. We would tidy it up often but within a day or two it would go back to looking like that…

Furthermore, I had a high storage bin with drawers in the sewing room with craft stuff that was never being used because it was out-of-the-way. So I decided to bring that into the kitchen in the opposite corner, clear it out and again only keep what we will use. that cleared up more than enough space to put the stuff that was in that basket. The smaller bin now has a crayons, pencil crayons and markers all in their respective drawers and can be put on the table when the kids are using it.

That space that got cleared up ended up being the perfect size for my dehydrator. I was getting ready to put the dehydrator in a bottom cupboard but that would mean that I would have to get it out and move things around when I wanted to use it. So having it out-of-the-way but plugged in is great for me and now I have that much more counter space back. It’s great!

I also did my kitchen drawers. I was surprised that I didn’t need to take much out as I use most of it on a regular basis, but it did need a big over haul of organization and once that was done it looked like it al took up only half the space that it did before.

The other thing we tackled was our room. I went through my clothes and took out what I just don’t wear even though I might like the idea of wearing it and then cleared out our closet and got all of the dust out. We really don’t have much clothes hanging so our next step might be to put Simon’s dresser in the closet and then we could put Wilhelmina’s toddler bed in our room, she has never slept apart from us but I think it would be fun for her to have a space of her own.

So the big cleanup is continuing and our regular house work seems to be suffering a bit because we are focusing on the stuff behind the scenes. But when we do clean up now, things are actually being put away instead of travelling from one temporary home to another and are now gaining permanent homes.

I am loving the results and can only see more positive ahead.

Nursing in Public

I Remember the first time I went out shopping with my new little baby and nursed in public. Xavier was about 2 weeks old and we had headed to the mall and to Toys R Us for something or other. As we shopped, Xavier grew hungry, started fussing, and then went into a full blown cry. I thought everyone was looking at us and I knew that I had to nurse him but I was so nervous.

I had nursed in front of friends and family but this was different. We headed to the exit promptly and as Simon waited in line to pay, I sat down on a bench, unbuttoned the bottom part of my blouse and with a blanket drawn over my shoulder I tried to latch my tiny son who was wailing because he was hungry and hot and had a mom that was not responding to his needs fast enough.

I finally got him latched, but he was still fussing as he was fighting the blanket that was draped over us both. Just then a woman sat down next to me. I don’t remember what she looked like, how old she was, or any small detail about her, but I do remember what she said.

She praised me for nursing, she told me that normal T-shirts were easiest for nursing since there were no buttons to fidget with and that I didn’t need the blanket because the baby hid enough…and then she left.

The conversation most likely didn’t last more than a minute or two but what she said changed my view of nursing in public from there on in…

I took the blanket off my shoulder and freed my sweaty and hot newborn baby and never looked back. I would ever nurse under cover again.

(Xavier at about 2 weeks old)

Over the years there have been so many times that nursing in public has been in the news and the same themes came back every time.

There are those that say go ahead and do it but be “discreet”, use a blanket, go to your car, plan outings around the baby’s usual times to eat. That nursing is a private act between mother and child

I hate that word… Discreet….what is discreet anyway? To whom do we owe the honor of choosing what discreet is? There are so many levels of what amount of skin is allowed to be seen and there is such a double standard between being sexy and being nurturing. Go to the car? What about when it is hot outside? or cold? what if you don’t have a car? Only go out around baby’s schedule? Hunger does not have a schedule.

And yes, nursing can be a special moment between mom and baby, you can gaze into each others eyes and cuddle, but breastfeeding is not only about that… most of the time, breastfeeding is just about getting needs met.

There are those that use the “fear card” and turn the tables and try to sound “concerned” by saying that there are perverts out there that are just waiting to watch women that breastfeed…

So what? I shouldn’t wear sandals because someone might have a foot fetish? I shouldn’t eat a banana because somebody might have a perverse thought? Come on! We are not responsible for the way other people may think.

There are those that say that women that breastfeed are just “whipping out their breasts” and enjoy exposing themselves and that nursing in public is not about feeding a baby it is about just making a point.

Yeah, so the fussy, hungry baby that is attached to my breast has nothing to do with it.. and you ever tried to nurse a baby that didn’t want to nurse? Not happening! Maybe all those moms out there are all pinching their kids just to make them cry so that they will nurse… (enter eye roll here)

There are those that say that it shouldn’t be done in front of kids…

ummm… I want my kids to see how normal nursing is…

tandem nursing Colin and Khéna

There are those that say that breastfeeding is equated to sexual acts in public or peeing in public and “EWWWW” I don’t want to see your tits while I am eating!”

So if breastfeeding is sexual, then isn’t bottle feeding equal to using a dildo in public?

And then of course there is always that one person that comes in saying that they once saw a woman taking of her whole shirt and bra to breastfeed…. because you must have shock value!

Really? I mean Really? Come on!!

(click to see this larger and scroll over the different parts to get translation)

Last week, after reading yet another article with the same comments, I realized that I have come so far away from that new mom struggling with buttons and a blanket and wondering what others were thinking as I was trying to meet my child’s most basic need.

As I read the same comments that have been making me angry for years, I looked down at my fourth child nursing on my lap and realized that she had unlatched and there I was with one of my breasts was fully exposed. Of course I was at home in my living room, but I hadn’t even noticed… nursing is now so much just part of my daily life that I am now one of “those” moms that you may catch a glimpse of when I am about to nurse my child. I am that mom that “whips it out” and am proud of it.

It is not because I am trying to expose my self, It is not because I am trying to make a point it is just because it is such a part of my daily routine that I am really not even conscious of it while I am doing it.

After nearly nine years of nonstop breastfeeding, nursing has become as natural and as second nature as breathing to me. I have went from being nervous and wondering if people were watching and wearing uncomfortable and ugly nursing tops (you know, the ones that have a piece of cloth overhanging that if you are a bit more endowed in the boob area they would play peek-a-boo when you lift your arms up) to nursing wherever and whenever, without second thought and just wearing tops that have a bit of stretch in the neck area so that I can nurse quickly an easily over my shirt while wearing my baby and not skip a beat.

Seriously, if you know me you would know that I am actually quite a prude when it comes to exposing parts of my body, yet breastfeeding has made its own niche in my brain. It is not sexual, it is not private, it is not about making a point, it is about nurturing, comforting and feeding my child.

Besides for nourishment and comfort, there is nothing premeditative in feeding and nurturing my child…

I just do it…