Thanks Sara for opening my eyes a bit wider….

I was just reading something that a fellow blogger (Sara) wrote that just makes me want rant! In agreement with her of course!

I feel physically sick when I see how the maintsream is raising their babies and then I just want to scream when things go wrong later on… These new generations have explanitions for everything and believe that they are invisible yet take responsability for nothing. The make their kids grow up too fast, force them “self-soothe” , make them supress their feelings, overschedule, over push, over medicate, nutritionally deprive them (through formula, processed foods, lack of vegetables etc) , give them everything material but not emotional, and make them have priorities that are not appropriate for their age and then wonder why they have emotional problems later on it life.

I am made to feel like a freak because I do thing that are not seen as ‘normal’ I breastfeed, co-sleep, wear my baby because I love to do it, I use cloth diapers and practice Elimination Communication, I don’t vaccinate and I won’t be sending my kids to school.. I get comments that imply that I am hurting my kids, I get comments that imply that I have no problems with my kids, I have comments that imply that I love being every second with my kids and imply that I am just lucky… I work so hard to be such a parent in the society that I live and I feel that I am not allowed to complain without being told to take the “easy” way out… and because I don’t complain because I don’t want to rejustify everything over and over again.
I am set apart from other moms because they always feel the need to justify why they chose to do something when they are with me.
I can’t talk about the joys of breastfeeding because they will feel guilty and then expain why they couldn’t for the 100th time even if their reason is crap and they know it, and if I complain about the times that I feel touched out their only solution is to wean and then get into a whole talk about how formula isn’t that bad and they survived and their kids survived… I can’t talk about Xavier’s nursing habits without being told that he is way too old to nurse…
I can’t talk about how Xavier crowds the bed some nights and my back hurts because I will just get the speech about it being important for him to be in his own bed… I can’t talk about Colin nursing at night without someone telling me to just let him CIO and that it is the best solution and it just needs to be done…

I want to leave this city, I want to go live in a commune or somewhere where I will have a community life. I want to live in the mountains again, I want to get rid of “stuff” and live with the basics, I want to peel potatoes with a friend, and sit down and chat over tea, I want to garden and teach and not always be alone…
I want to live in a world where I can finally be myself without constant justification…

Ughhh…

Allergies or a cold I have no idea but I feel miserable…
My rose is running, my throat is scratchy, my eyes are gucky, my ears are ichy and I just have no energy at all…
Simon worked during the night last night and got home at about 8 this morning and is sleeping but Xavier doesn’t want to leave his side… I got Simon to go sleep in on the bed in the playroom so that Xavier can play and watch a movie while being near his dad…
Colin has been really fussy these last few days and doesn’t want to be a foot away from us… I have been wearing him alot but I don’t feel too good…

This week is going to be very busy…We wanted to get tons of things done this weekend so that the house would be clean and easy to maintain until next weekend.. (Colin will be a year on Friday and we are having a Party on Sat) There will be a few people here which I don’t mind… the thing that makes me a little queasy though is that there will be a few family members here (my mom’s side) and they are very critical people and everything has to be perfect… So anyways… I have alot of things to do before Saturday…
Tomorrow during the day Xavier is going to be in Daycare so I will have a bit of time to do a few things but I am giving a pre-natal tomorrow night, then on Wednesday I have a meeting with my fellow breastfeeding councelors, then on Thursday I have a doctors appt for me and Colin in Montreal… Friday Somin is taking off from work though so that we can get things done around the house and Xavier will be in Daycare so hopefully that will work out…

Anyways… today is an Ughh day…

WW Meeting…

I went to a WW meeting today and got my new startup material… They got english copies just for me 😉
I would love to keep going but money is really tight at the moment and it costs 14$ a week…
I want to go for support but I saw the fgroup and I don’t know if I would get much real support… but the main reason is that I feel the need to keep on track to see a real weight difference at the weigh-in each week… It feels more official and I don’t like seeing the scale go up so I am motivated to keep going down…
I guess I could make my self accountable for the weight loss each week by myself though…. I think I will just try to find a place online that I can get support and be able to get excited by weighing in…
Anyways… I have a coupon left from a few years ago that I can use so I think I am going to go at least next week…
We’ll see after that….

And the times they are a changin’…..

I have always loved whole foods, I have always loved eating in a healthy manner but I have never acted on it 100% in my daily life…
I know that it is the best thing for me and my family so now I am giving up the convenience (well most of it) and going to make whole foods completely a part of our life and eating habits and I am starting today…
I no longer want the convienence foods in my house, I want to cook more from “scratch”, I want to eat more grains and seeds, Eat more veggies and fruit, I want to cook mostly vegetarian meals (though I am not planning on becoming a vegetarian), I want to eat more fish, I want to eat less products with refined sugars etc…
Most of all… I want to improve my health, my well being, I want to teach my kids how to eat… and another motivation…. I also want to save money!

Tonights Menu…
Homemade Vege-Pate on Whole Grain Organic Bread and a Salad with a roasted Sesame dressing… Sounds yummy huh?!!!!!

About weight part 2

This is a followup to my last post about my weight
On my birthday I decided that I was going to really try to get back into shape and lose weight again.. I know I can do it because I did it before… So on Wednesday the 27th of July I weighed my self and was shocked to see 240…. about 10 pounds higher then I thought and about 15 pounds higher then my weight before I got pregnant with Colin.
I started to journal what I ate and watched my portions and counted my points… still confused on how many I really need because of the tandem nursing…. Anyways… in one week I lost 6 pounds! I love the first week because losing the water weight just makes you fell like you are actually doing something good and seing it on the scale just makes you want to continue….
However… I need support and I am counting on those who come read here once in a while or even on a regular basis… so I am going to be blogging my journey and I want as much feedback as I can get so I can keep it up!

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