Wilhelmina 10 months
Edited to add: I had put the link from the video from Flickr not realizing that it had cut the video in half. So if you watched when I had just put it up, watch it again š
Uncomfortable subjects…
I talk to the kids about almost everything in a very comfortable way, but the other morning I came across a subject that was uncomfortable to discuss. My family.
Colin was asking if we knew anyone named Justin, and I almost said no. Weird, since that is my step-brother’s name and we were once close. When my step-dad died almost six years ago, he was going through a tough time and we haven’t been in contact since. So I was telling Colin about him and that he was like a brother and was a brother by marriage but not a brother by blood. That led my to the subject of my half-brother… my dad’s son.
When my mom and dad were still together (before I was 18 months old) my brother was part of my life. My mom left my Dad, packed the car and headed across the country and I only saw him and my brother almost a decade later. I was about 10 when I met my brother again, he was 15. I have a feeling that I took away some of the already limited attention that he got from my father and heĀ resentedĀ me for it. On my part, I looked up to him and wanted a relationship with him, but it always led toĀ disappointment. A few years ago I let go of the hope of having a relationship with him and instead decided that I would cutĀ himĀ off completely. The other morning, when the conversation turned to him it became uncomfortable.
It was uncomfortable because as I explained that he was my Dad’s son and not my Mom’s, I saw him realize that parents are not always together. It was uncomfortable because I explained that we were never close and that we haven’t talked in years and I saw his confusion of having a sibling that is out there that you don’t see or talk to. It was uncomfortable because he asked to meet his uncle and I said that he probably wouldn’t, he wondered why… It was uncomfortable because I know that they would get along great if they were to meet.
Some subjects are really hard to talk about and they are often not the ones that I expect….
Remembering…
It is World Aids day today…
A day to raise awareness, to remember those that have died.
This morning I talked to the boys about Miguel, my step-father who died of Aids in 1997. I talked to them about HIV and Aids. I shared pictures and our story. It has been nearly 14 years since he died…and though life goes on there are days like today that are full of memories and a few tears.
So today I am Remembering Miguel and other friends that have died of Aids over the years…
NaBloPoMo 2010
I did it!
I got through a month of blogging every day for the third year in a row. I didn’t find this year hard at all…I even have more post ideas leftover!
It reminded me that you don’t always need elaborate posts… that sometimes just a few words is enough…
I know that some of you were doing NaBloPoMo this year also… how did it go? Did you get through it? How did you deal with the sometimesĀ challengeĀ of finding something to blog about each day?
White cake (or Butter cookie cake)
I usually make our favourite Black Magic cake for birthdays. Everyone likes it and it has just become a tradition. When I asked KhĆ©na what he wanted for his birthday this year he said he wanted vanilla cake with chocolate icing… well, that threw me for a loop..
I have never made a white cake.. I decided to try adapting my favourite to a vanilla cake and it failed..
So I kept on looking and found this recipe…
Of course, I can’t follow a recipe to the letter… so this is my version….
- 2Ā¼ cups cake flour (I never have this and usually just use normal flour but this time I used Joy the Baker’s substitute for cake flour)
- 1 cup coconut milk, at room temperature
- 6 large egg whites (Ā¾ cup), at room temperature
- 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1Ā¾ cups granulated sugar
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1 teaspoon Kosher salt
- 3/4 cup unsalted butter, Ā softened but still cool
1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare two pans (grease and the flour)… I use 2 square 8X8 pans…
2. Mix coconut milk, egg whites, and vanilla in a small bowl.
3. Mix cake flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl or mixer bowl. Add butter and beat at slow speed (use use forks)until mixture resembles moist crumbs. (like when making pie dough)
4. Add all but Ā½ cup of milk mixture to crumbs and beat at medium speed for 1Ā½ minutes. Add remaining Ā½ cup of milk mixture and beat 30 seconds more. Stop mixer and scrape sides of bowl. Return mixer to medium (or high) speed and beat 20 seconds longer.
5. Divide batter evenly between the two pans and bake until toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 23 to 25 minutes.
Let cool on wire racks and let cool completely before icing.
I don’t know if it was the slight scent of coconut or the butter or the vanilla but this cake smelled and tasted like butter cookies which is why I feel the need to call it Butter Cookie cake… Ā It was perfect!
I used the chocolate buttercream that I have here... or of course you could go all vanilla and use the vanilla buttercream here…