a hippie with a minivan

Pogos (otherwise known as Corn dogs)

OK… OK… not the healthiest food but they are definitely a fun food, especially for the boys, and making them myself means that I know what is in them and of course the taste is SO much better than the fast food places or what you can buy frozen…

1 cup cornmeal
1 3/4 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp salt
1 egg
1/3 cup sugar
milk (any type)
about 18 hot dogs (veggie, soy, beef or whatever you want)
flour
(optional) wooden sticks

Combine cornmeal, flour, baking powder, salt, egg and sugar and then add milk until batter has a pancake type consistency…

I didn’t use skewers and instead cut the hot dogs in half and then coated them with flour, but If you are using skewers, put them in each hot dog and then coat hot dogs with flour. Heat 2″ deep oil to 370 degrees F. (I use my electric wok for most of my frying needs)

Dip hot dogs into batter mix and coat evenly and them put in the oil and fry until golden brown (about 2 1/2-3 min)

The boys dove into these like there was no tomorrow and there were none left at the end, but they could easily be made and frozen and then heated up in the oven for a quick lunch… I will definitely be making these again…

Week two…

Last week was busy… friends over to visit, visit from the midwife and papers being signed to register Wilhelmina’s birth, shopping trips, bags of clothes given and sorted and put away and the more boyish clothes/extra clothes or unpractical baby clothes all sorted out and ready to be given away. It is crazy how much clothes we had accumulated and though I had sorted through it many, many times, there was still always too much.

But now… It is amazing how having a little girl now has changed my emotional attachment to the clothes that the boys wore. Though I did end up keeping two small outfits that have special memories, the rest was easily put into the bag. I am also being very careful to keep only what I like, need and is practical for EC and for everyday use. (No diaper shirts, or PJ’s with tons of snaps etc) and I am also making sure that we don’t have too much of certain clothes in the same size so that we are actually using the clothes that we have and like the most.

Decluttering is something that feels so liberating.

Thursday was the biggest day for Wilhelmina and I… she had her first Chiro appointment which went very well and then we got on the road and headed to Costco which is about a 45 min drive away. While I was on the road I decided to see if my friend Martine was home so I could go visit while I was in the area… not only was she there, but another friend was there, so I headed over and got to spend a few hours talking and having tea and cookies with two of my dearest friends. After that I headed to Costco and then a few other places I needed to got to. Wilhelmina doesn’t like the car very much but once we are moving she falls asleep so the car trip was actually quite pleasant. It was also the first time we had been gone from the house for so long and I was ECing out of the house. During the car ride she stayed dry and I was able to pee her at the Chiro and then once we got to Martine’s house. During the visit she went through one of her periods of peeing often and we went through a few diapers and a few trips on the potty and over the sink and then while we were out and she was in the wrap she didn’t pee at all and instead waited until we got into the car and then I put her over the potty. Since she was so warm in the wrap she didn’t mind at all being put over the potty in below freezing temps. I just had a blanket around her, pulled her pants down and took the diaper off half way, she went quickly and then I just pulled her pants back up, nursed a bit and then she went into the car seat.

Though I spend a lot of my time sitting and nursing and holding her, I have been able to do some more cooking done and doing things around the house. Meal plans have been easy things that don’t take up too much time or are easy, so that if I need to be with Willa, I can finish quickly, nurse her while doing it or Simon can finish up.

Having Simon around is so great. There is always another set of hands, someone to make breakfast for the boys and even for me… I am able to run out to the store quickly with just Wilhelmina or go out with everyone and have a bit of help. Though I could of course manage if we didn’t have the choice it makes things so much easier and it also is fun for the kids to have daddy around… I can’t wait for spring so that we can get out more and go places, go for walks and hang out together as a family on weekdays…

So that has been our week, just living life with a new member of the family and getting to know her. She just fits so perfectly.

EC with a newborn…

EC or elimination communication is such a great thing and so much easier than people think it is…

I started with Colin when he was about 4 weeks old, and started with Khéna when he was born…

(Khéna 7 weeks)

With both we did it with diaper backup and didn’t do it at night because honestly I am a lazy parent at night and even I thought that it would be more work, but with Wilhelmina I wanted to do it completely and I am so happy that we are. It is so much easer than even I thought it was going to be!

(Wilhelmina 2 days old)

Wilhelmina is 2 weeks old today and things are going so well. Though I am not ready to go protection free just yet, I also don’t diaper completely. I found the happy medium between both by using a prefold diaper with a belt so that it is easy to take off and potty her, but if we have a miss I feel it right away and I am able to change her quickly. For large portions of the day and night she stays in the same prefold giving clear signs such as a cry or whimper or arching her back to let us know that she has to go. Then she has other periods that she pees every 5 min and though we always get a pee when we offer the potty, she has already has had one in the cloth also… but the great thing is that though she has short periods like that, she has never stayed wet for longer than a few minutes. I do wonder though that if we just went diaper-free completely during those moments (or at all times) if I would catch more of the pees that we seem to miss…

(Wilhelmina, today… 2 weeks old)

Poos are a different story… The first few days it was harder to catch her poos since she wasn’t signalling as much for them but once she caught on that they too were to go in the potty, she now signals very clearly and in more than a week and a half we have only had to clean up one small poo and even then, Simon brought her over the sink and she let go of the rest, clearly waiting for us to catch on to what she was trying to communicate. Even if it were just for poos, EC would be worth it.

What has surprised me the most though is doing it at nighttime.

In the past, we would have them in a diaper and if they woke up wet, Simon would bring them to the bathroom and offer the potty/sink and they would go but there were other times that we just changed the diaper and that was it. Somehow I thought that consistently ECing at night was more work than that, but it is so much less. We have a great routine going at the moment. Our nights start out with me laying in bed with her, she nurses and pees a bit more often in the late evening, so she nurses and pees and burps in a cycle for about an hour and then finally falls asleep. She then wakes up about 3 to 3 1/2 hours later and I just hear her move or do a little whimper and without getting up I just get the potty off my side table, lean it against me, take her pre-fold off and put her on it. She pees without really waking up, I put the pre-fold back on her because it is still dry, nurse her and fall asleep again… then the cycle begins again until the morning.

A funny thing that we found is that besides using the potty at night, she rather be over the sink, so that though I put her over the potty in the day she will sometimes hold it in and will clearly communicate that he needs to go but won’t let go until I bring her into the washroom over the sink. She really knows what she wants!

So besides the small period she has in the evening that she seems to pee every 5 minutes, she has a very predictable pattern of needing to go when she wakes up and when she is tired and wants to go to sleep. People that visit are surprised and in awe of how I am able to read her signals but after having done EC with two babies, I can’t imagine ignoring the signals anymore.

What I love about EC is not just the elimination part it is the communication part, like when she is hungry or tired, elimination is just another need that she has that she is able to communicate and I am able to respond to. It adds to our relationship, to our connection together. Even if there are misses, it isn’t a problem, it sometimes centres me to be more attentive if I am distracted at the moment, or we just move on…

The Birth of Wilhelmina Anne

I was just hitting 41 weeks and very tired of the pregnancy; I was sore all over and hadn’t slept a good night sleep in weeks.

At one point on Monday, January 25^th I went to the bathroom and when I wiped I realized that I had lost my mucous plug. It was the first time that I had noticed it with all my pregnancies, so it was surprising to me, but I knew it didn’t mean much.

I went to bed that night feeling like I was going to be pregnant forever, but then I woke at 3:30am Tuesday morning by a feeling of wetness that made me go to the bathroom and check what was happening.

I got up and felt a small gush, I wiped and had bloody show, I went back to my bed and lay down and I was leaking again, not much but enough that it was noticeable, but it stopped when I got up so I was sure that it was a slow leak. I woke Simon and told him. Excited and my mind racing, I tried to sleep but I couldn’t, and instead I watched a bit of a movie on my Zune while everyone slept, noticing contractions once in a while every 20-30 minutes.

When Simon’s alarm rang I told him that I would rather him stay home as I knew that I wasn’t in a good position to be a good parent that day and I was scared that things would start quickly when he was at work and he wouldn’t be able to get home quickly. One of my fears was that I would be labouring alone with the boys around and I didn’t want that to happen. I called my friend Martine at 7:30am to put her on standby for the day in case I needed her, and then decided to go to the grocery store as soon as it opened at 8am and we needed a few things. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the Sushi stand in the grocery store was open and I ordered a platter of my favourites to keep my energy up throughout the day, hoping that I might labour quickly and that I would have a snack for after.

I got home and tried to relax. I puttered around, hung out in bed with the laptop and watched a movie, sat on the exercise ball, switched positions, listened to music, read stories to Khéna, looked on the internet and just waited for labour to kick in. The contractions would get stronger and closer together but then they would taper out again.

By early evening my contractions had picked up a bit again and I decided that the pool might be a nice place to relax. With Khéna, the pool is what made the contractions harder and stronger so I was hoping also that it might do the same again this time. So at about 7pm we started filling the pool and I got in. The water felt amazing, the buoyancy felt amazing and I was able to move around freely but my contractions stopped completely. I welcomed the break and the warm water, and tried to relax and found myself feeling very sleepy and tired. By 8:45 I decided that I would just go to bed and try to sleep. I called my friend Martine and told her my plans and that it would most likely not be that night; I would just try to sleep and regain some energy and hope for tomorrow. I went to bed and closed my eyes and then it hit me; a contraction and pain in my back that took my breath away. I tried to fall asleep again and then another one hit and it continued like that until I couldn’t stay in bed anymore. At 10:30pm, just as Simon was heading downstairs to bed, I was heading upstairs deciding to go back in the pool. In the back of my mind I was hoping that the water would stop the contractions again so that I could go to sleep; I felt so tired.

I stayed in the water for nearly an hour and a half while Simon boiled water to make it warmer. The contractions continued at about every 10-15 minutes, the pain radiated in my back, and I couldn’t get into a position that was comfortable. As I lay in the water I kept on hearing the sound of water running and finally realized that the pool was leaking into the air chamber. I don’t know how I found the leak so quickly but I was able to block the hole with a bit of poster gum. However, the chamber had about an inch of water at the bottom and because the water there was cold, the pool water was cooling down a lot faster than in should have. By 1am, I was exhausted and needed to try to lie down again and try to sleep so we headed downstairs to bed. I was shivering and shaking all over and feeling cold and I felt I just couldn’t continue. Khéna woke up just around that time so he lay on the bed next to me and held my hand and fell back asleep. I lay down and got into the position that had helped Colin turn when I was in labour with him. It was comfortable except for when a contraction hit every 10-15 minutes and I asked Simon to press on my lower back which helped a lot. Though I was vocalizing quite a bit, Khéna slept soundly next to me and wasn’t disturbed at all.

At 1:40am I fell asleep and slept between two contractions but they were getting more intense and again, I couldn’t be in bed anymore. I had to get up. I had to move.

I was still shivering, my legs were shaky, I felt exhausted and I couldn’t stay standing up. It was about 2:30 when I went on the birthing ball. As the contractions intensified, I felt a bit of relief by leaning back on Simon and putting my pelvis forward so that my lower back was on the birthing ball. I was feeling weepy and I started to say to Simon that I didn’t want to do it anymore. I had another very intense contraction and at 3am I decided to call my friend Martine. Unlike my other births where I needed to be left alone, this time I felt that I needed support, I needed someone who has been in the same position before, someone that understood what I was going through someone that could say “I know” and mean it. I called their cell phone and there was no answer, my heart sank a bit. 15 minutes later, she called back and I asked her to come. I knew she had an hours’ drive but it felt good to know she was on the way.

I decided to head back to the pool upstairs while I waited. Simon boiled more water, I patched up the pool again with more poster gum and with each contraction that hit I asked Simon to press on my lower back. The contractions were strong and painful but between contractions I was able to talk normally. They were still about every 10 minutes, so though I had time between contractions, each one was wearing me down.

At 4:15 the front door opened quietly and Martine had arrived. The contractions continued as they were before, with both her and Simon taking turns putting pressure on my back with each one.

After about half an hour the contractions started intensifying again and starting getting closer and closer together. I stopped talking between contractions and needed to concentrate and reflect. Soon after, there was another jump in the contractions intensity and they were feeling like they were coming one after the other.

I kept changing positions, on my knees, lying down in the water, hanging over the side of the pool but the position that brought the most relief was when someone was pressing on my back and I was leaning on the side of the pool, cupping my hands under my belly and pulling my abdomen up and in.

Then it happened.

I felt the need to push and I went with it and my water broke. The contractions were one on top of the other and I said out loud “its coming!”. My body continued to push and the head crowned and then finally came out. I felt someone was pulling at her, and asked for nobody to touch, but no one was.

I was feeling her body turn and move inside me, pushing against my pelvis from the inside, it is a feeling that I will never forget. The head was out and I waited for the next contraction but I couldn’t stay still, I needed to move again. I went to a squatting position, then a sitting position and even asked Simon to take pictures. Then I went back onto my knees and finally the next contraction came, my body took over and her body slid out.

I then realized that no one was getting her and that she was at the bottom of the pool so I quickly turned around and scooped her up. Her cord was wrapped around her shoulder and torso, so I untangled her noticing at the same time that she had a true knot in her cord. It took a few moments for her to take her first breath but her body was pink and the cord was still attached so I was not worried, I just rubbed her back and put her tummy on my forearm with her head looking down and she started to cry. I asked for a towel, told Simon to go wake up the boys and then remembered that I could now see if we had a girl or a boy.

A Girl!!! We have a daughter!

Xavier was already awake listening to us from downstairs so he was the first one up. Simon woke Colin up and brought him upstairs and when he caught on that the reason we woke him was because he had a new sister he was awake completely. Simon was not able to wake Khéna up; he was sleeping too soundly so he came up about 30 min later. I got out of the pool and went to the couch and as I sat down the placenta came out right under me, so we got a bowl and transferred it to that. I decided at that point that I wanted to be in my bed. Simon got some scissors and the length of braided embroidery thread that I had prepared a few days earlier and we tied off the cord and cut it. Colin had tears in his eyes thinking that we were hurting her but a few words assured him that everything was OK.

I headed down stairs and we cuddled and she nursed and I made a few phone calls while Simon took the water out of the birthing pool, cleaned up a bit, took care of the boys, did some laundry and Martine prepared a beautiful plate of fresh fruit, dates, carob squares and banana bread for me to snack on and made breakfast for the boys. I took a few doses of Shepherds purse tincture as I was bleeding a bit more than I would have liked but I was still feeling good so though I was still bleeding, I wasn’t too worried. I decided to massage my uterus a bit though to help things along and finally with the tincture,and the nursing things calmed down a bit.

A little later in the day we weighed her in at 8 lbs, 8 oz and decided to call her Wilhelmina Anne, a name that both Simon and I loved and had in common on our lists. A few days later we measured her at 20 inches.

Though this labour and birth was longer and harder than my first Unassisted Birth, it was so much more rewarding, peaceful and less stressful than my first two births. Though they progressed the same way, they were managed so differently, and though it was hard, I am so proud that I went through the experience as it showed me first hand what I believe in. That leaving things alone is the best way to “manage” a birth.

My first two births…

Since this is most likely my last birth, I thought it fitting to start my story with my first births, the beginning of my journey. Especially because unlike Khéna’s birth, which was relatively “easy”, Wilhelmina’s birth was much like my first two births. Posterior baby, long and drawn out labour, back labour, stop and go contractions etc…

As I grew in my knowledge and my confidence the stories show a progression. The first ended up being a hospital transfer and a whole array of interventions short of a C-Section, but only because I would not consent. The second, with me refusing the transfer and staying at the birth centre but still with more intervention than I would have liked and then finally my second unassisted birth, which resembled the first two labours, yet I had all of the control.

I have always felt uncomfortable with doctors and the medical community. I have never had trust in the profession though I do recognize that it is needed in some circumstances. Normal birth, however, is not one of those circumstances. Though I didn’t know what I know now, when I got my first positive test I knew that I wanted a midwife. I looked in the phonebook, called 411 on the pubic phone and then finally looked on the internet from the computer lab near my next class. I found a site that mentioned the birthing centre and finally found the number. As I sat in the hallway, waiting for my class to start, I called the birthing centre and got an appointment for the information session at the birthing center. I was due in early July and I was calling within days of taking my test so I got a spot right away, I didn’t know how lucky I was to be in.

My mom came with me to the birthing centre information session; though she was keeping an open mind, she was not convinced. I, of course, didn’t even need convincing. My midwife appointments were great, though looking back it was more medical minded than I would accept now, but it was a far cry from what my pregnant friend was going through with her pregnancy so I was happy. My first labour started just when I was hitting 42 weeks and two days before I had been scheduled for an induction. Xavier was posterior and though my contractions were strong, they were all in my back and he was not descending and I was not dilating. I was still “stuck” at 3 cm after 37 hours of labour and two sleepless nights. I was exhausted and the midwife said that it would be best to transfer. I was told that the bag of water was bulging and that it was “blocking” his way but she didn’t risk breaking it because he was not engaged. Looking back and reading my birth story now, I was told a lot of things during labour that don’t make sense now…

So, we transferred to the hospital that was near the birthing centre. When we got there, I was convinced by the midwife to take an epidural and then I was catheterized. I was hooked up to machines and had an IV and given pitocin, and my body just felt invaded. Every 30 min or so, some stranger would walk in the room to do a cervical exam, not even dressed as doctors and could have been any random person wandering the halls. I was visited by the Surgeon, and residents and other “experts” and was told that my pelvis was too small, the baby was too big and that I could not give birth vaginally and that I would be most likely be getting a c-section. All of this said to me having never met me, examined me, no Ultrasound or test or anything. I didn’t make sense and I refused to listen. My mom tried to talk to me to convince me to just go ahead and do it, others did too, Simon accepted my decision and stood by me.

My waters were broken during one of the multiple cervical exams and the band on my belly kept slipping so at one point a team rushed in and put an internal monitor on his head. By 5 pm, I was 10cm but he was still high and not engaged, they didn’t want me to push because they were still trying to convince me to just have the C-section. They gave me a “deadline” of 8 pm, after that, I wouldn’t have a “choice”.

At 7:30pm a resident came by and I told him I was having back pain in spite of the epidural, he checked me and told me that the baby had come down a bit and that there could be a chance to have him vaginally, I gained hope but the deadline was lingering. The doctor (a family doctor on rotation) came by just before 8pm and said that it was the last chance, if he had descended she would give me more time, if he was still high, it was automatically a C-section, basically with my consent or not. I turned over onto my back and she went to check me, to find that his head was already crowning… she yelled at me not to push and I yelled back that wasn’t and within seconds his head came out followed by his body, while they were still rushing to get ready. Xavier was born at 7:59pm, a minute before their “deadline”.

I said to not cut the cord, they waited about 2 min before pressuring me to do so, I held him right away but then they took him and did all their unnecessary things, weighing him and wrapping him up etc… (He weighed 7 lbs, 11oz and was 20 ½ inches long). He was nursing while the doctor stitched my small tear and while she did, she said that I could leave the hospital and go back to the birthing centre as soon as the epidural wore off enough that I could walk. She didn’t have to say so twice; I left the hospital 2 hours after he was born, while I still couldn’t feel one of my legs (never got the feeling back in half of my big toe actually) and I vowed never to return again.

18 months later, I was pregnant with Colin. Because I had already been with the birthing centre before, I had priority, so again I got in right away. During the pregnancy we moved off island and because we were far I didn’t go to as many pre-natal appointments and instead the midwife just said to call if I had any questions between appointments. Simon and I often wondered what the point was any way; there was not much that the midwife did that I couldn’t do myself.

Xavier was born at 42 weeks, so I was really surprised when my water broke one afternoon at 3pm while I was sitting at the computer at 38 weeks. I called Simon, called the midwife and then called my friend Gen, to pick Simon up at work and to come pick me up and then to drive back to Montreal. My contractions hadn’t started, but because we live more than an hour away from the birthing centre, we didn’t want to be on the road when the contractions hit. With traffic and the drive I got to the birthing centre at 6pm.

The midwife did a cervical exam and said that I was at 1cm, baby was high and contractions were starting but not much. We decided to go have supper at the Vietnamese restaurant across the street and to walk a bit. When we got back to the birthing centre I nursed Xavier to sleep and that is when the contractions really hit. By midnight I was at 2cm, and by 3am I was at 4cm and the contractions were strong. All the pain started to be concentrated in my back again and with every contraction the pain in my back became more unbearable; another posterior baby.

The midwife transferred me downstairs where I was to give birth because I was 5lbs over their “weight limit” for birthing in the rooms upstairs; a policy that they abolished soon after. My contractions started slowing down right away after going down stairs. I honestly think that part of it was because I was embarrassed that I couldn’t labour and birth in the comfort of the room upstairs and instead was in an office just because of my weight. The baby was still high, my contractions were stopping and I went back upstairs.

By 10am my contractions were coming on less strong and I was still at 4cm. I was given an IV antibiotic because I was nearing the 24 hour mark of my water being broken and then I started to hear the talk about a transfer to the hospital. The exact same scenario as what happened with Xavier, I was devastated. I was told that I didn’t have to decide right away and if I still had the energy to keep going I could, but my midwife was tired and was going to relax and another midwife would take her place. I was crying and worn out because I did not want to be transfer again. A midwife came in and I asked her to leave, I didn’t know her and the way she presented herself was cold and uncaring.

Then, to my luck, another midwife came in that was visiting that day. She is one of the most known midwifes in Quebec and one of the founders of the Birthing Centres. She decided to help me along by telling me to squat and push the baby down while she manually helped the cervix dilate. Within 3-4 contractions the baby had dropped at least 2-3 cm and though I wasn’t more dilated my cervix was stretchy. I kept on doing what she had told me to do with every contraction and at about 11:30 I was at 6cm.

I was exhausted at that time and after a great pep talk from her giving me confidence that I could and would do it, we decided to try another position to get the baby to turn and the position ended up being very comfortable, so comfortable that I fell asleep between every contraction. I was supposed to stay in that position for about half an hour but I didn’t want to move and ended up staying like that for about an hour and a half. When I was told to try going on the other side, I felt the baby shift and then all the pain of the contractions shifted to the front. I was checked and I was at 9cm…. (I slept through Transition!!!!)

Within moments of moving, the contractions came on stronger and stronger and I had to push. My original midwife was called in and rushed to bring me downstairs but the new midwife said to let the policy go and that I wouldn’t make it anyway, he was crowning. The two midwives were there along with a student midwife and about 4-5 min later, I was told to reach down and pull my baby out and onto my belly. Colin had a short cord and it was around his neck tightly; so the student midwife cut the cord before he was all the way out and though he cried right away his oxygen supply had been cut off and he needed some help at the beginning, at least he was in my arms and I was able to hold the mask and after about 15-20 minutes I was able to nurse him for the first time. However, the intervention was not over, the student midwife decided to put traction on the cord to “help” the placenta come out, and I bled quite a bit so I was then given a shot of pitocin. Colin was born at 1pm, 22 hours after my water broke; he was my smallest baby, weighing 7lbs 3oz and was 18 ½ inches long.

Though not as much intervention as Xavier’s birth, no transfer and no doctors, I again had a very managed birth. Again the focus was on the clock, on the progression of labour, on the management of the birth and the third stage. Again, my body was not allowed to perform naturally. I was relieved when I didn’t get into the birthing centre for Khéna, and I feel so lucky that I made the choice to birth unassisted for my next two births.