Since reading Annie’s blog posts… and hearing more about NVC within other sources… I have been interested to learn more.

In some ways I find it strange that I haven’t looked into it before because it reflects so much of what I already believe in, but reading Annie’s posts I realized that though I agreed with her there were some things that I couldn’t explain why…

Looking around I found a DVD version of the “basics of nonviolent communication”… so I watched it last week… it was exactly what was missing… it was able to not only fill in the gaps but open up a whole new world … and since watching it I have been so much more conscious of my own mistakes when speaking to my family and friends and I have been making a conscious effort to change the way I communicate.

What I find hard is not only changing the way that speak, but the way I am heard.  Though, I am not a viloent person, or didn’t use violent words I now see that  like most I used words to manipulate, not as much consciously but just being part of the way I learned to interact with others… the way most people speak…

What is amazing about nonviolent communication is that it is not only fulfilling… but it is also the fact that it is so liberating. Though I am only at the beginning of my journey I see that it will be pretty life-changing in the very small details.

Here is a part of a great summary of the goal of nonviolent communication on the NVC site…

“The process of NVC encourages us to focus on what we and others are observing separate from our interpretations and judgments, to connect our thoughts and feelings to underlying human needs/values (e.g. protection, support, love), and to be clear about what we would like towards meeting those needs. These skills give the ability to translate from a language of criticism, blame, and demand into a language of human needs — a language of life that consciously connects us to the universal qualities “alive in us” that sustain and enrich our well being, and focuses our attention on what actions we could take to manifest these qualities.”

Just after learning a bit… I was able to see the errors I was making and with slight changes of language I was able to put my parenting views in practice in a way that in the past was harder to do. I wish I would have looked into it before…

It is such a great tool and I can’t wait to learn more…