Life learning – Page 4 – a hippie with a minivan

questions, questions, questions…

The older the kids get the more questions come out… and the older the get the more patience they have to listen to the answer and the more understanding they have get the answer…

Today in the car Xavier asked about where power comes from then learned the meaning and differences of solar power, wind power, nuclear power and hydro power. When I “quizzed” him after to see if he was listening/understood… he had retained all of them…

Then at supper at the table Simon and I were talking about those stupid HFCS commercials… Simon said “4 sylables… prop-a-gan-da” then Xavier asked what a sylable was and we explained with a few examples and he understood right away…

It is just amazing how much kids can learn so quickly… especially when they are interested…

The cutest question today though was

“Mama… how do you know all of this?”

to which I answered… “well you learn something new everyday… so the older you get the more you know”…

so he answered… “wow… you must be really old”

Another meeting…

Yesterday I went to another homeschooling meeting…I was ready for it to be as usual but I wanted to go because it was being held at my good friends house and I wanted to see her and her new baby and the boys wanted to go play with her girls…

It turned out to be just a nice get together which was pretty nice… One of the girls is moving so it was kind of like a mini goodbye party and a little welcome party for the new baby… (who is so cute!!)

I still feel like the oddball there though… besides getting looked at and talked at like I was crazy because my kids went outside in socks without shoes and they might get dirty or wet *gasp* … I got the feeling that some of them pretty much think that we don’t do anything because we don’t sit and “do school”….

because we don’t have a little classroom set up… because we don’t have any curriculum that we follow… because we don’t have a set amount of time for each subject and because I don’t even care that the boys might not be interested in some things yet or that there are things that they might not learn at the expected age…

When we talked at one point about baking bread I also got a comment about how much free time I have because we don’t do anything because I am not “teaching”…

It is really hard for a traditional homeschooler to understand unschooling I guess…

There is a lot of ground between doing school at home and forcing kids to learn on schedule and doing anything at all and ignoring a child’s education.

I spend a lot of my day answering questions, finding information about things I don’t know the answers to myself… there is so much to learn without being forced…and as an aide to my children’s learning I need to have and find the answers until they are ready to be able to find the information on their own…

Not sitting down and doing school curriculum doesn’t mean that we never do anything and learn.Not having to prepare for the next lesson doesn’t mean that I never research and prepare my answers… it might not be as formal but it is a lot of work and time because the questions range so much…

The good things that came out of yesterday though was that I got to spend time with my friend before everyone got there and then for a few hours after they left… I got to cuddle a new little baby… I got to talk with some really nice people though we might not see eye to eye on some/many things… The kids got to play with some friends and outside on their great property..

and another cool thing is that the same person that assumed that we don’t do anything did mention something that she is going to be starting soon with her kids that was overheard by Xavier and peaked his interest…

so we have a little project in midst…

quote….

I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think. Whereas if the child is left to himself, he will think more and better, if less “showily”. Let him come and go freely, let him touch real things and combine his impressions for himself… Teaching fills the mind with artificial associations that must be got rid of before the child can develop independent ideas out of actual experiences.

– Anne Sullivan, Helen Keller’s mentor and friend

child-led living…

In many circles, in real life and online, I have come to see that many people seem to believe that Unschooling and child led living go hand in hand when really they can be and are quite separate. It is easy to think however that one equals the other, as it is true that many families that practice a child led learning method such as unschooling do extend the child led ideology to all aspects of life. However, it is not something that all unschoolers believe in and child led living is not at all unique to unschooling.

There are many families that are child led and use public school, as there are many unschoolers that believe that child led learning is the best way to learn but believe that family dynamics are very different.

Personally, child led living is not something that I strive for which seems to surprise many people.

I believe that in a family the parents are the leaders, we are the ones with life experience, we are our children’s guides through the beginning of their lives. We are showing them the way and teaching them the skills to love and thrive. However, it remains important to remember that as parents and guides, we are not dictators, children deserve respect, they have a voice, they have a right be listened to and though they may not have all of the control it is not taken away from them completely either…

Mutual respect, consensual living, unconditional love, non-coercive and gentle parenting are the keys…

I think that there needs to be a balance in a family and the more we are the more we have to work as a team. There are times that some may not be happy, and in those times we do our best to help through the transition and work through those feelings.

If we need to leave from the park and someone is not happy, I will not stay there and wait until they are ready, however, I will also not say that I am leaving and instil the fear of abandonment just to get my point across. There are many ways to talk to kids, to help them with the transition of going… there are some kids that are easier than others and there are some that give you a run for your money and having 3 very different children there are times that you really need to get creative and yes there are sometimes tears… but with those tears there is always support.

The thing is… kids are not always 100% right and they do need guidance… but parents are not always 100% right either and we need to remember that kids often know more about what they need than we give them credit for. As a family there are times that we all have to make sacrifices and there are times that the right thing for one is not always the right thing for the other and it is not always the child that gets their way, but it is also not always the parent… I might want my kids to sleep at a certain time so that I have some time to myself…. but if they are not tired then why should they be forced? However, that time needs to be quiet because there are others that may be sleeping and evenings are quiet time around here…

It is that fine balance that seems to be so hard… guidance but not control… letting go of arbitrary expectations and letting kids have their say without making them having total control either…

Really though….

Being a parent is hard and being a child is hard also… so my goal is to make it easiest for all of us and of course we always strive for better.

Another homeschooling meeting…

Last night I debated on going to the pool or going to the homeschool meeting… I finally decided to do both and just be late at the meeting…

I am really glad I did that because for one, I really wanted to go swimming… and it felt great… and two… I missed the part of the meeting that was them talking about the conference they went to last weekend… when I came in they were just near the end and talking about concentration and how to get kids to concentrate on their work by using a physical stop sign and then having punishments if they need to use the stop sign 3 times…

omg… I was Crawling out of my skin!! and the worse part was that not only was the girl talking about it but she actually made the stop sign and bought the chart that charts the punishment and rewards… She gave the example of giving an assignment and that after doing half or more they ask to do something else so she has been using the stop sign to make them stop and concentrate on doing the rest…

so… I asked… but what if they want to move on after doing half or more because they got the concept and want to go on to the next thing…

she didn’t seem to think that it was a valid reason…

It really annoys me going to these meetings… I like the interaction with a few of the moms, especially 2 of them.. but the other 3 I just have so much trouble getting… they are always in search of the perfect curriculum, working so hard and struggling to get their kids to cooperate and concentrate… while 3 of us are often talking about whatever comes to mind, they are talking about curriculum…

Another thing that came up about the conference was about a writing club and the way they described it it was really cool and is really in line with an unschooling philosophy… letting kids write because they want to, letting them write what they want, not hovering and correcting etc… I said that it sounded really cool and that is what I plan on doing… but then of course the guns went up… it had to be said that it was only a writing club it is just for fun… but in real life learning kids can’t do that all of the time…

umm…. WHY NOT ??!!!

I just don’t get it… I don’t get them…

Why must the love of learning need to squashed by stop signs, punishments, rewards and overbearing parents?

we didn’t schedule another meeting for now… I am glad about it… I am not sure I want to go back….