know better… do better…

After letting our diet slip into a more mainstream diet and having TV be watched a bit too often at the end of the pregnancy…. Going back to a whole food/ natural food diet and cutting a lot of TV time has made way for many changes in the boys…

The last weeks has been great… the boys fight but not as often, just normal brotherly “love” stuff now… they play and laugh and make up stories with toys, play together etc… Xavier is not screaming as much and the house is just a lot more calm…

I really believe that their “behaviour” was a direct result of our slip in diet… I feel awful for it, but as the saying goes… when you know better you do better…

It wasn’t a big slip mind you, and not at all near to a “normal” mainstream diet that I see some people have, but it was enough to make a difference….

I also really love to see that behaviour can be curved by diet and positive parenting and it is not punitive “discipline” that is the answer as so many are led to believe…

No spanking, hitting, tapping, slapping, or any other synonym that basically means beating a child into submission…

No withdrawal of love, instilling fear of abandonment, naughty chair, time out or other synonym of conditional love….

No bribing or rewards for everything so that they won’t do anything without expecting something in return…

The kids know that whatever they do we will love them… It is not conditional to what they do…

In practicing unconditional parenting they are learning to do the right things for the right reasons.. not because they have the fear to be punished and not because they want praise but because they want to do the right thing…

I have to admit that it is hard at times, and we still have things to work on…

it is hard to break the cycle of abuse and conditional love that I experienced as a child… but I will and I am doing it because again..

I know better and I will do better…

Just a little update…

Khéna is just about 3 1/2 months old and is about 22-23 pounds now and wearing a size 18 months in mostly everything though we can’t put him in pants because of the length… (he either wears a onsie or just a shirt most of the time with babylegs for easy pottying) Footed PJ’s don”t fit at all because of the length but 2 piece PJ’s fit so he wears those when we are out…

I am not really sure if he can roll over or not because I don’t put him down much, besides when he is sleeping at night he is in our arms.. I sometimes put him in his highchair while we eat though and recently I have put him down on the floor and he is starting to enjoy that a bit… but not for long…

he has never really been on his tummy but I don’t agree that is important anyways because of the baby wearing…

EC is doing great though he still won’t potty when we go out and he holds it in all day which must be very uncomfortable.. we are trying to get him used to going in other places besides on the BBLP in front of the Mirror.. so that maybe pottying elsewhere will be easier…

Khéna loves baths and showers but hasn’t taken that many yet to be honest… but really he isn’t too dirty anyways..

Yesterday however, Simon gave him is first bath alone in the tub (usually I take it with him) and he had a blast splashing and moving…He really loves the water… so I think he is going tp be having them more often…

He still nurses about every 1 hour in the daytime, and though it is a lot he sleeps about 8-10 hours at night… so it equals out… he can and does nurse less when we are out so I really have to make the time to stop and nurse him those days…

Khéna is also cooing and “talking” so much now… he laughs and giggles and smiles at his brothers… He is tickish and just overall really happy…

Here are some new pics!

With Xavier…

Xavier and Khéna

Xavier and Khéna

don't touch my bird!

Khéna Khéna

On the Potty…

Potty pic at 3 monthsPotty pic at 3 months

Khéna 3 months

Khéna 3 months

rasta babe ;)

the good and the hard…

Through ups and downs of craziness in this household a few things have started to change. Whether it is the diet changes that we have made or just growing up there are some really cool things happening with Xavier.

In the last few weeks he has started being able to play with play-dough for longer than a few minutes, he has started to sing and not only sing but sing songs in their entirety, knowing every word and he sings so well. There are times when the boys are playing alone in the playroom and they are not fighting but singing together… Maybe it is hearing his brother sing, maybe he is just gaining more confidence but whatever it is, it makes our hearts flutter.

Today, I sat down at the kitchen table with both boys and we did a few pages in some workbooks that I picked out at the dollar store a few years ago… Xavier picked out animals that didn’t belong, coloured and did a number activity in which he names the numbers and then coloured as many objects next to that number (like if the number was 7 and there where 10 objects he coloured 7 of them)… he got up to the number 8 and then his attention went else where… but the fact that he did it was completely out of the ordinary for him… and the fact that he sat so long was a great deal also… No forcing, no “teaching”… just learning and having fun…

(Colin loved the pages that he did too.. )

Of course there are still things that we would like to see evolve, whether it is age stuff or personality it is hard to deal with him lashing out at times. But we are working on it, showing him alternative ways of dealing with his emotions, teaching him and showing him.

Sometimes we doubt that we are getting somewhere with him,

Sometimes we feel that everything is working out perfectly.

Sometimes we have the feelings within a few minutes of each other.

Though a day like today was rough in some aspects, in others we saw change.

Tonight, before bed he was excited. He said to us that tomorrow is Music day. He got out an old cassette radio that we have and a few old cassettes (Star Wars and Close encounters of the third kind) and he wants to listen to them…

I also made a calendar for the month of March a few days ago, highlighting a few special days (Simon’s birthday, first day of Spring, Earth Day etc) and few weird days (Pig day, Toast Day) , so tomorrow is also Pig day and he looks forward to celebrating that also…

I think I now need to find a song about a pig 😉

sleep…

The Boys are all sleeping… Khéna has been as amazing sleeper since birth. Just like Xavier was. Sleeping nestled next to me he stopped nursing at night at only a few weeks of age… his weight and his great attitude show that he isn’t missing out on food. However, he does nurse quite a bit during the day, but I don’t mind, I love to cuddle and nurse him… The last week or so we have been putting him down in the Amby instead of on the couch when he falls asleep for the night which happens to be right at the same time that the boys fall asleep… he sleeps there until he wakes to join us in bed, just like his brothers…

Go to Top