2011 – Page 15 – a hippie with a minivan

What a day…

A few weeks ago I was asked if I would be interested to consult on a baby wearing scene for an episode of a popular Quebecois television series called “La Galère” . I jumped at the opportunity! Not because I know the show, I actually had never heard of it, but because it sounded like fun 🙂

I needed to get there at 7:30am. That alone was my biggest stressor…. My mom decided at last minute last Friday that she would take the boys to the cabin for the weekend so they were with her while Simon and I caught up with some things in the house. It also made it easier to figure out what I would do to get to Montreal on time. The location was just a few minutes from our friend Jody’s house who is currently travelling, so we were able to get the keys and sleep there on Sunday night.

I got up bright and early and headed to the old 26 room manor called the Mary Dorothy Molson House that they are using as the set. The house itself was amazing to see.

I met with the costume ladies and was shown the bit of african cloth they wanted to use for the character and was told what the director was looking for. I also met with the mom and two beautiful 3 month old twin girls who play the role of the baby in the show.

Then it as the hard part. To explain that what the director wanted was not realistic with such small babies who are not used to be worn and to try to find an alternative. After many trials we ended up using the babies’ silicone twin double.

Watching the shootings of the scenes were quite interesting.

Everyone had a job to do and the director was very stereotypical and you did not want to get in her way. I was able to watch the screen seeing the scene come to life, take after take… and once they got what they wanted in one position, they needed to go the next one in a different angle or with the close-up on one one actor instead of the others… Literally hours of saying the same thing over and over again… I could never be an actor! As I watched on the screen I payed attention to little details and made sure that the carrier was placed the same way each take and enough of the babies head was showing to show that there was a baby on her back but made sure that there was not too much because the silicone jiggled too much each time the actress moved…

The next scene that was shot was actually what was happening right before the first scene and the actress is trying to get the baby on her back while reading instructions… it was actually quite hilarious because I have the exact same instruction booklet and was as confused at reading the instructions myself as the actress was in the scene. This time I had to make sure that the acctress was starting out with the baby on her back in the right position each time and had to show another actress how to help her wrap the baby while making sure that it looked like it did before…(or actually just after in the show) After another hour or so, that scene was finally done and I was able to leave and get back to Simon and Wilhelmina who were waiting for me back at Jody’s house…

The opportunity was so much fun and I am looking forward to be called again if needed 🙂

It also felt great getting paid a reasonable price for just a few hours of work!

Oh… the material we were using was an African Khanga, or actually 2 Khanga’s sewn together. The original position that was wanted was an african carry which was not going to work out as it was not complicated enough for the scene and could not work with the tiny babies. The carry that I ended up showing was an improvised kangaroo back cross carry…

New Dress…

Yep, sewing for a girl is very different than sewing for boys…

This dress basically the same pattern as the dress I made here but it has been a bit refined and simplified and the beautiful colours are really what make this dress so stunning!

(front and back)

What I really love about this pattern is because of the tie in back, the bodice can be made a bit big and still fit months down the road… I love functionality of clothes that can grow with the child!! Wilhelmina can still wear her owl dress and her mushroom dress easily though the skirt is now a bit short which just makes it look more like a tunic instead of a dress… the biggest change that I made to this new dress besides making the skirt longer, was also to make it a bit fuller because I love the look of a full skirt…

I love having my daughter wear handmade clothes…

Nursing in Public

I Remember the first time I went out shopping with my new little baby and nursed in public. Xavier was about 2 weeks old and we had headed to the mall and to Toys R Us for something or other. As we shopped, Xavier grew hungry, started fussing, and then went into a full blown cry. I thought everyone was looking at us and I knew that I had to nurse him but I was so nervous.

I had nursed in front of friends and family but this was different. We headed to the exit promptly and as Simon waited in line to pay, I sat down on a bench, unbuttoned the bottom part of my blouse and with a blanket drawn over my shoulder I tried to latch my tiny son who was wailing because he was hungry and hot and had a mom that was not responding to his needs fast enough.

I finally got him latched, but he was still fussing as he was fighting the blanket that was draped over us both. Just then a woman sat down next to me. I don’t remember what she looked like, how old she was, or any small detail about her, but I do remember what she said.

She praised me for nursing, she told me that normal T-shirts were easiest for nursing since there were no buttons to fidget with and that I didn’t need the blanket because the baby hid enough…and then she left.

The conversation most likely didn’t last more than a minute or two but what she said changed my view of nursing in public from there on in…

I took the blanket off my shoulder and freed my sweaty and hot newborn baby and never looked back. I would ever nurse under cover again.

(Xavier at about 2 weeks old)

Over the years there have been so many times that nursing in public has been in the news and the same themes came back every time.

There are those that say go ahead and do it but be “discreet”, use a blanket, go to your car, plan outings around the baby’s usual times to eat. That nursing is a private act between mother and child

I hate that word… Discreet….what is discreet anyway? To whom do we owe the honor of choosing what discreet is? There are so many levels of what amount of skin is allowed to be seen and there is such a double standard between being sexy and being nurturing. Go to the car? What about when it is hot outside? or cold? what if you don’t have a car? Only go out around baby’s schedule? Hunger does not have a schedule.

And yes, nursing can be a special moment between mom and baby, you can gaze into each others eyes and cuddle, but breastfeeding is not only about that… most of the time, breastfeeding is just about getting needs met.

There are those that use the “fear card” and turn the tables and try to sound “concerned” by saying that there are perverts out there that are just waiting to watch women that breastfeed…

So what? I shouldn’t wear sandals because someone might have a foot fetish? I shouldn’t eat a banana because somebody might have a perverse thought? Come on! We are not responsible for the way other people may think.

There are those that say that women that breastfeed are just “whipping out their breasts” and enjoy exposing themselves and that nursing in public is not about feeding a baby it is about just making a point.

Yeah, so the fussy, hungry baby that is attached to my breast has nothing to do with it.. and you ever tried to nurse a baby that didn’t want to nurse? Not happening! Maybe all those moms out there are all pinching their kids just to make them cry so that they will nurse… (enter eye roll here)

There are those that say that it shouldn’t be done in front of kids…

ummm… I want my kids to see how normal nursing is…

tandem nursing Colin and Khéna

There are those that say that breastfeeding is equated to sexual acts in public or peeing in public and “EWWWW” I don’t want to see your tits while I am eating!”

So if breastfeeding is sexual, then isn’t bottle feeding equal to using a dildo in public?

And then of course there is always that one person that comes in saying that they once saw a woman taking of her whole shirt and bra to breastfeed…. because you must have shock value!

Really? I mean Really? Come on!!

(click to see this larger and scroll over the different parts to get translation)

Last week, after reading yet another article with the same comments, I realized that I have come so far away from that new mom struggling with buttons and a blanket and wondering what others were thinking as I was trying to meet my child’s most basic need.

As I read the same comments that have been making me angry for years, I looked down at my fourth child nursing on my lap and realized that she had unlatched and there I was with one of my breasts was fully exposed. Of course I was at home in my living room, but I hadn’t even noticed… nursing is now so much just part of my daily life that I am now one of “those” moms that you may catch a glimpse of when I am about to nurse my child. I am that mom that “whips it out” and am proud of it.

It is not because I am trying to expose my self, It is not because I am trying to make a point it is just because it is such a part of my daily routine that I am really not even conscious of it while I am doing it.

After nearly nine years of nonstop breastfeeding, nursing has become as natural and as second nature as breathing to me. I have went from being nervous and wondering if people were watching and wearing uncomfortable and ugly nursing tops (you know, the ones that have a piece of cloth overhanging that if you are a bit more endowed in the boob area they would play peek-a-boo when you lift your arms up) to nursing wherever and whenever, without second thought and just wearing tops that have a bit of stretch in the neck area so that I can nurse quickly an easily over my shirt while wearing my baby and not skip a beat.

Seriously, if you know me you would know that I am actually quite a prude when it comes to exposing parts of my body, yet breastfeeding has made its own niche in my brain. It is not sexual, it is not private, it is not about making a point, it is about nurturing, comforting and feeding my child.

Besides for nourishment and comfort, there is nothing premeditative in feeding and nurturing my child…

I just do it…

It might not be summer…

but it sure is feeling like it….

I have been trying to stay away from the computer which of course means that my blog will be a bit willfully neglected for the next few weeks, though I do plan on writing once in a while… Living in Quebec means having to live with weather extremes and the though we may complain of the hot humid summer weather, it is very much welcomed after months of winter with ice and snow and the temperature being way below 0…. So being outside and soaking it up feels like such an important thing to do and computer time feels like such a waste of beautiful weather and family time…

So, the pool is ready for swimming and has been swam in numerous times, bugs are out and biting and trips and adventures are being planned.

Khéna and bugs don’t seem to mix…

After many years of wanting to go camping with the family but not having the gear, we finally bit the bullet and bought a tent, a camp stove a few other needed camping accessories and are planning on going for our first family camping trip at the end of the month and meeting up with some friends in the Maritimes…

We set the tent up in the yard on the weekend to make sure that the size was right for our family and though it may be tight in a few years, we will have no problem fitting into a 6 person tent…

So here’s to summer and all of the adventures that await!

Today, after more than two years…

My period is back…

So is the bloating, cramping and lack of energy and the overall feeling of Blah….

For 10 years now, on and off, I have been following my cycle, charting days and taking temps, or I have been pregnant or in the limbo of the post partum phase…. this next phase feels like the close to all of that.

We knew that Wilhelmina would be our last child and last year decided to finalize that decision with Simon getting the big V… I went through the slight tang of wondering if we were doing the right thing but having my period back now makes me realize that it is done. I am now out of my last limbo phase after the birth of my last child and I am now leaving the “maternity” phase completely.

There will be no more pregnancies, no more babies, no more little kick and sweet smelling newborn heads… Each phase that Wilhelmina is going through will be the last time I see one one my own children pass though the same. There will be no more breaks until my body decides to stop on its own.

There are no regrets in these words… just realization…

My family is done expanding, now the focus is on maturing.