I have been a Fan of Hathor the Cow Goddess for quite a long time now….
there have been many Cartoons that have really been special
but a few weeks ago there was one that really hit home with me…
Just few minutes ago, Xavier came up to me with chocolate pudding around his mouth showing me that he had taken a pudding and then asked me if he could have it… I could have said no, could have made a big deal with it… it would have ended in a Tantrum for sure… then I thought… hey “Why not”… and told him that he could have it only it if he shared… so we giggled and ate a chocolate pudding together…. he then ate all of his breakfast with a big smile…
We say “No” way too often and often there is no real reason behind it other then we just don’t want them to….
and even then… when I really think about it… why don’t I want them to?…
Not saying No all of the time doesn’t mean that you always say yes either… There has to be limits and guidance….but… is it really awful that my child and I just shared a pudding for breakfast?
So.. before saying “no”…. “take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Why Not?” ”
That is great! I love that. And you’re right – to often we say “no” for no good reason!
I hadn’t seen that particular cartoon, but I’m a fan, too. She’s definitely a kindred spirit. My husband and I are both sensitive to chaos, so our daughters have helped us learn some very good lessons about releasing the urge to control. So I take many deep breaths during the day while my girls scatter toys everywhere, cut paper into a million tiny scraps, fill entire drawing pads in one sitting (one scribble per page), help themselves to food in the fridge, etc. If there’s not a darn good reason for a rule or a “No,” then I don’t give one. This has actually freed me from a lot of stressful enforcement.
Comment left on the AP board… that I want to keep…
“Melissa – just checked out your blog – Thank you so much for the WHY NOT post (do they call it posts when blogging??) Anyways that is exactly what I needed to see just NOW as Ethan (3.5) was asking to play with a flashlight in his bed, rather than his books. Instead of my usual litany of No, because… I grinned, said why not and gave him the flashlight. He happily fell asleep shining at the ‘stars’ and all is right with the world.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU…. you saved a lot of tears in our house I feel and I’m definitely going to remember the ‘why not’…”
christian 13 months