Well another day has passed… I am still spotting, no clots but still red and very much there and enough to not look like will be finished today… I think I have a little while yet…
Simon went to work today, no need for him to stay home because I think that the worst is already over and now it is just the wait… I went and got supper and I noticed that I bleed a bit more when I am out and walking…I didn’t feel like leaving the house but it sure felt good to do so…
At this moment, though I want to still be pregnant, if I am honest with myself I don’t think that I am anymore. However, In the back of my mind there is still a tiny bit of hope and I may pick up a dollar store test next week or something just to help settle my mind…
I am sad, but I don’t think that it has hit me yet… I think it because I am still not 100% sure… I think it would have been easier in a way if the signs were not as mild as they are compared to what I have been told, have read or had imagined… but now I just keep teetering…
This uncertainty is hard… I am a kind of person that is impatient and hates to wait, but I guess it is one of these times that there is nothing to do but wait…
I wasn’t completely ready for another little one to be added to the family, but the possibility and the potential loss has given me an ache and I don’t think I will want to wait too much longer to do so…
For me the waiting and not-knowing is the worst part… I’d rather either have no spotting at all or for things clearly to be over. Unfortunately, I seem to spot at least a little (sometimes a lot) in every single pregnancy no matter what the outcome eventually is.
I’ll keep thinking of you and sending you completion thoughts regardless of which way it goes. ~For the baby to either completely imbed and be safely nestled for optimum growth or to be released with a minimum of discomfort~
Sorry to hear you’re going through this. Please be gentle with yourself as you mourn this loss. Sending healing thoughts your way.