We had a great day in Montreal yesterday… tiring but great… We went to one of my Favorite Restaurants, went to Bummis to buy some new covers and then walked back down St-Denis…. Xavier was exhausted at the end but the boys slept well in the car ride home.
Anyways… When I got to Montreal in the morning I called the Birthing house to make an appointment with one of the midwives… When I went there 4 years ago they were getting about 600 applications but only taking under 300, they were wuite picky about who they took… 2 years later they were getting about 1000 applications and still only taking under 300… they got even more picky… now they get over 1400 applications and still take under 300… the birthing Center just isn’t big enough for more…. I moved while pregnant with Colin, but because I was still in Montreal when I got pregnant and called and I had previously given birth there I was given priority and was taken right away… However, since we have now moved, the secretary told me that I couldn’t be taken, I can’t even got onto the waiting list…She gave me to the number for the nearest birthing center which is equally far away from me. They have the same problems however, I did get on the waiting list…However, since going to see a doctor is simply not an option for me, if I don’t get in to see a midwife I will be going unassisted. Personally I don’t mind, though I really enjoyed the visits with the midwives, I really enjoyed the contact and close relationship that we got because of the visits…
The director of the Center called me yesterday to explain her “rules” for moms that are coming in from further away… not missing appointments because of distance etc… I told her that I did it with Colin so I really didn’t mind… she then told me that I was going to be on the waiting list and that I would find out in July if I was able to go with them or not… I asked her if I could see someone before the 20 weeks just to check in considering that a doctor is not an option… she asked me what I meant and I told her that they where pretty much my only chance but that I will go unassisted if need be… I really didn’t say it to put her on the spot, which she probably thinks… It was really not my intention, but it was just the truth… she then said that she would talk to the other midwives to see if someone could see me before 20 weeks but that even if someone did, it was not certain that they would take me after though…. I told her that that would be great and that I understood (even though I was cussing at her in my mind!!!)… she then asked me a few times if I was serious that I would go unassisted, I explained that I would because I don’t have the choice and that I really didn’t mind doing it but I would rather have a midwife….
Though I am a little nervous of going unassisted I am ready to do so, the thought of a doctor scares me more. I actually feel sick to my stomach even thinking about it. I even gave a quick thought of going on my own terms but I don’t want to have each appt be a fight… I don’t want to have to explain everything of why I don’t the unnecessary and invasive tests etc…
This is especially true since I went to see the doctor here just in case when I was pregnant with Colin as requested by my midwife… I was 36 weeks and he wanted to weigh me, check me (check my cervix) and do the tests that I didn’t have done previously, tests that are completely not necessary… I told him no, and explained why and he disagreed with me…later he called me and told me that he was not comfortable having me as a patient… Subsequently he also has a very high amount of “emergency” C-sections…. I would have to say that about 80% of the moms that call me for breastfeeding problems all had “emergency” C/S at 37 weeks after having been provoked… Pretty sad….
Anyways… I have no trust in doctors, especially ones that make childbirth seem like a medical problem that needs to be dealt with with tests etc.. I have no trust in doctors that think that laying down flat on your back is in anyway a good position to give birth, I have no trust in doctors that adopt the mentality that they are delivering babies instead of giving the honour to the woman who is giving birth….
So, birthing with a doctor is simply not an option. so on Wednesday I will find out if I can see a midwife at least once before 20 weeks and in July I will find out if I will have a spot… For now, I plan to get some tests to check my protein etc, check my BP with the cuff that I already have, measure myself and maybe get something to be able to hear the heart later on….
Though this is a little Dilemma in my head I am actually not too scared of going unassisted… I am actually surprised… or on second thought… maybe not…
Ugh. What a pain!! I really feel for you. I can’t imagine having a doctor deliver my baby, either. I like the idea of unassisted birth and homebirth, but I know I’d find it hard to forgive myself if things went wrong and quicker medical help might have made a difference. And yet I know that it’s quite unlikely that such medical help would be needed, and probably more likely that unwanted and unneeded medical help could CAUSE problems.
How unfortunate that it’s so hard to get accepted to deliver at the birthing center. One nice thing about where I live is that there are plenty of those kinds of resources. I was afraid that the move to PA would make it harder to find a midwife (if and when I get pregnant again!!), but it appears that it will actually be easier.
At least you have some time to work on the problem. Good luck! And congratulations! I am ttc this cycle — keep your fingers crossed for me!
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you…
Like I said in my latest post I am actually getting used to the idea of going unassisted. I had very uneventful pregnancies with the boys and really, besides the support, the midwives didn’t really do anything that I can’t do. I don’t think that I am comfortable enough to not be monitoring myself like some women do that go unassisted, and actaully then I think it is less the idea of uncomfort that makes me want to do but really the fact that I actually look forward to monitoring myself.
Yeah… Quebec is actually behind in all of this…
In the Province the birthing Centers have only been around since 1999 and were equipped with midwives that came mostly from France and started out as a project. At the same time the first midwives in quebec started their education. 3 years later (when I gave birth to Xavier) was the first Graduating class. However there was no place for them in the Birthing Centers. So that is what needs to happen now… the midwives are there, the clientel is there but the physical structures are not.
Before 99 if you didn’t want to give birth in a Hospital you only had the choice of going unassisted or with a renegade midwife.
Even now, Midwives are not allowed to work outside of the birthing centers. So we have a good underground resource of renegade midwifes but the price is pretty high… (the birthing centers are paid for with the provincial health insurance)…
Also, Homebirths with a midwife have only been legal for two years but I don’t even know if they can do them yet because of insurance problems….
[…] Well, this afternoon I have to call the Birthing Center in Nicolet (the one that put me on the waiting list) to see what if I will be able to see someone at least once. Like I explained here the head midwife is going to ask if someone can see me once before 20 weeks. They have their weekly meeting this morning so she will be able to tell me this afternoon. I tried to call her yesterday to say that I hadn’t wanted to put her between a rock and a hard spot last week when I told her that if they couldn’t take me then I would be going unassisted…and that I really was OK with itand was ready to do so… but she wasn’t there. […]