Here is a little analogy I used to describe parenting styles today…

Think of the parent as an island on a big lake…

The parent that doesn’t force independence but sets clear boundaries:
The child will test the boundaries….stay near the island for a while and then will slowly swim further and further always coming back and touching base…. then, when they are ready they will succeed at getting to the shoreline… (adulthood)

If you force independence, it is as if you start pushing the child into the water to make them swim… if you do that they will get start clinging onto the island more and more, they may develop fears of the water, push them too hard… they may drown or find another island to be their base….

The Overbearing and over protective parent?… it is like building a fence on the island… they will one day escape and try to go too far too fast or develop terrible fears of the water and never be able to adventure further…

I was wondering though…. what would the Permissive Parent be… an island of Jello? A series of little Islands just big enough to hold onto but not enought to provide safety? an island with muddy borders?

What do you think?