I listed our house up for sale today…
This weekend Simon and I made a rash decision. The thing is, I don’t just want to be in BC, I want to go home, I want to go back to Nelson… where I was raised. We were trying to think of ways to get closer to Nelson, because the dream of being in Nelson always felt unattainable. But I always avoided the fact that we could just go to Nelson. Why not work on making that dream a reality?
There are still no jobs that we can see from here in Quebec, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t find some kind of work to make ends meet. So, though we are not going to give up our search for work, we might leave before we find it. I truly believe that things would fall into place if we were there especially because both of us are willing to work at it.
It’s scary. It’s terrifying really. To give up the stability that we have now, the salary that we have now, our house, our friends… for a dream. But is that stability worth our happiness? No, it isn’t. But, I feel sick… My brain is screaming NO and dragging its heels in the ground while my heart is bounding and leaping forwards making rash decisions. There is a complete separation. I don’t know what to feel at the moment.
I am just not happy where we are. I have wanted to be back in Nelson, back in BC since I left when I was ten. I want to raise my kids there and have them know the mountains in the same way I did. I want them to have the community that I had and going to Nelson, I would already have some community already established. People that I know and love and that watched me grow up.
but… but…. but…. the brain goes to work again..
There are so many changes ahead, I don’t know what to expect, but I can’t wait to see where my heart bring me…