Today is Monday, and I am leaving next Monday… I can’t believe that I am leaving in just a week…
Though I am excited and looking forward to travelling, seeing new sights, seeing Annie and getting out of the house, I am also very nervous about leaving the family, leaving the kids.
I just haven’t been away from them for so long before and Khéna is still so young. I keep going back and forth of thinking that I am doing something that will be great, that will break the routine a bit, and I know that it is a now or never situation….but then I start thinking that maybe it is a mistake.
But if I don’t go, I know that I would regret it.
Simon won’t have this much time off again and even if he does take three weeks of vacation from work I wouldn’t take that time to leave, Vacation time is family time and we can’t afford all of us leaving either… so if I want to go for a small trip, I need to take advantage of this situation.
As for being 3 weeks away from the boys, they will be their dad. For the last 7 weeks now he has been taking the role of primary parent while I devote most of my time to Willa and he is an amazing dad… they are used to going to him first when they need something at this moment, and when I think of how they were when we were in BC when we were alone for three weeks after Simon had gone back to home, I know that they are going to be perfectly fine. They missed their dad, yes, but it wasn’t a big deal at all and for the older two, it will most likely be the same. Khéna on the other hand will miss me more, I know that. Simon has things planned though, so he will be keeping busy and we have preparing him since the tickets have been bought, it is just the time period that he doesn’t grasp yet. though I worry, I know deep down that he will be fine.
I think most of the nervousness that I feel now though is that I will not be at home in my space for three weeks and that I am actually doing it. I am doing something for myself alone (well I will be with Wilhelmina but at this moment I just consider her an extension of myself, like when I was pregnant but with a bit more baggage).
But I am doing something more than going shopping, or going to see a friend for the day. I am getting on a plane and going to spend three weeks at my best friend’s house 5117 km away from home (according to Google). If Simon wouldn’t have mentioned it, I would have never even thought of it as a possibility.. . and now it is not just a dream, or idea, but I am actually doing it…