When I wrote the definition of unschooling a few weeks ago I handed it out at the local homeschooling meeting in hope that the philosophy around it would be a bit more understood… I found out yesterday though that it really wasn’t…
I agree that to the outsider, unschooling doesn’t look like the parent is doing much… you are not technically sitting and teaching a few hours a day… you might not have as many ways to “show” what your kids are learning because there is no curriculum, no workbooks or tests…but unschooling is not about “doing nothing”… you are always answering questions and researching things… you need to be attentive to their interests and provide them with experiences…
I felt really felt disillusioned yesterday at the homeschooling meeting when I realized that my efforts to explain unschooling in the attempt to create a connection regardless of our differences had caused maybe even more confusion… some parents were talking and saying that they agree with unschooling because they do it also when they are not doing school work… (like in the afternoons.. on weekends or in the summer on school break) basically saying that when they are done “teaching” the kids what they “need” to know… then they are free to “unschool” (with limits of course)…and in the context and way they said it, it was like unschooling is what happens when the parent is doing nothing to actively teach their kids… they also made clear that most kids cannot be unschooled because they just “wouldn’t do anything’ and would never be able to learn without being taught…
The thing is… Unschooling is not just about not doing schoolwork…. it is about looking, and seeing, learning and education, in a different way… it is about having confidence that all kids start with the love of learning and if nurtured, they will always learn what they need to learn when they are ready and interested to do so…
When you see that, you no longer see the need to actively teach math and grammar because you know that they will learn it when they see the necessity in learning within everyday life experiences… you don’t teach the alphabet or colours or make sure that they know where their nose is… you can even see that doing so can be detrimental and destroy the love of learning…
Free time after sitting and being taught for a few hours is not “unschooling’… and neither is summer vacation… just because you decide on stopping school work for the day… or even a month or two and the kids keep on being interested in things it doesn’t mean that you are unschooling… it just means that kids are being kids… but it could be unschooling if you continue letting them do that all of the time and gave them encouragement follow their natural interests of what they want when they need to…
To be honest, the rest of night I was much quieter than usual and was wondering what I was doing there… the experience left me feeling really withdrawn and indifferent… I feel that each time I have made an effort I have felt pushed away.
I’ve had similar experiences. I want to share how good it feels to live this way with my kids, which is the point, so I give examples of unschooling in practice. But people don’t get it, because they’re still looking at it as a way to make kids learn.
I can try to explain about trust and respect, and people will still translate that into giving up responsibility and letting the kids do whatever they want regardless of their needs.
it sucks that they are that way 🙁 people need to be more tolerant of other lifestyles/parenting etc… i think it is great that you are unschooling 🙂
It’s a shame open mindedness is so hard to find. I’m finding fewer and fewer “huh?” responses to mention of unschooling or EC but Waldorf is a totally different ball game. It could be that I don’t describe it well but I have a feeling that narrow mindedness is just as big of a culprit.
I really like how Waldorf curriculum expose children to so many different views of the world, with the result that students think for themselves and are open minded. At least that’s been my observation so far. I haven’t met any adults that unschooled yet but it would seem like similar results are within the realm of what might be expected.
Hang in there, I’m sure you’ll find the support you’re looking for before too long.
That surprises me! I was in a waldorf school as a kid and there are some waldorf schools here also, so many people have at least heard of it in my experience… and because there is a “curriculum” it seems to be more accepted…
I have to say though that unless the reason for homeschooling is for seclusion (some religious families/groups homeschool for that reason) most homeschooled kids are exposed to many more points of view than in the public system…
I did love my waldorf days though, and it was in many ways because of that experience that I always knew I would be homeschooling my children…
New to reading your blog and just wanted to say that I know what unschooling is and think it’s awesome. And it’s cool that you care enough to do whats best for your family, good for you 🙂
I think unschooling is one of those things that is going to take a while for anyone to really understand, even those who we perceive to be open-minded. People have a set vision of what schooling should be or is, and it’s hard for them to take themselves out of that and make an effort to understand what it is.
I don’t have kids yet, but I want to unschool. Are there any resources you particularly like on the subject? I’d like to learn more about it myself.