When Colin was at the hospital and I was anxious to get home I mentioned to the doctor that I had another nursling at home and she dared to comment on it!
She at first looked surprised and then asked how old he was and I told her that he was just about 3 and a half…
she then said it was time to wean him !!!!
OK… First I was already stressed and on edge cause I wanted them to get him of the Serum but that just hit me like a ton of bricks… but I am proud of myself… Everything came out perfectly and without a thought… every little reason she gave I responded without skipping a beat and I am actually happy that we did have the conversation in a way…
It went a bit like this….
Dr: You should wean him!
Dr: He is 3.5… that’s too old?
Me: Actually 3.5 is young in my opinion…
Dr: But he is too old to be nursing still.
Me: Actually, the natural weaning age is between 2.5 and 7 years old, so he is still near the beginning… and I don’t believe in premature weaning.
Dr: But it must drain your energy.
Me: Why would that happen?
Dr: But he has teeth…
Me: So!… sometimes a 4 month old has teeth… would you advise the mom to wean because of that?
Dr: No… that’s true… you’re just the first person I have met that has nursed this long…
A bit later she heard me talking, saying that I have to go to Montreal to see our family doctor for the kids and she offered to be their ped (this is also after she found out that I am not vaxing)
Anyways…Even though I am OK with the conversation I can’t believe that a doctor would have the gall to actually comment on breastfeeding…. I know I hear others that rant about their awful, misinformed doctors but I am lucky that I never had experienced it until now…
The problem is that to be a breastfeeding counsellor we have to have to go through the Training that is put in place for Unicef’s “Baby-Friendly Initiative”
The nurses and Doctors at the hospitals that are working to become”Baby-Friendly” also have to go through the same training.
The Big problem is that that doctors are the ones that are most often not doing the training and hindering the hospitals. These know-it-alls actually know nothing about breastfeeding and they are the ones that have the most weight in the minds of most parents… and when they are given the chance to learn they don’t even want to do it!
How can people put all of their trust in these people?
Another thing that Irks me is parenting advice… Why the HECK do people take parenting advice from doctors! Why is the opinion of one person better then the instincts of a parent? Besides… in most cases with the hours that doctors are away from their homes and away from their children how can you expect them to know what they are talking about… I know there are some good docs out there that do have good parenting advice but I don’t think that a doctor’s office is the place to exchange that advice…
What I love about my Family Doc in Montreal is that he is always eager to learn. We don’t always agree but when it happens he rather exchange info then just try to convince me. He never gives advice that is out of the medical realm. He has never talked about sleep, feeding, potty-training etc… He doesn’t believe that parenting advice should be part of the doctor/ patient-parent relationship…
However, I find Montreal to be far away if I have a sick child to bring in… It’s a good hour drive, mostly highway, pretty rough stretches in the winter and about 30$ worth of gas… so I am debating whether to take this doc as a Ped. for the kids (not even 10 mins away)… even if she dared to say something about my nursing relationship, and I would keep the family doc anyways.
What I got most out of our Bradley Method birthing classes was the realization that doctors are human too and that they are subject to their own biases, psychological issues and incompetencies. Before that I just assumed that most doctors were the same and their advice was to be followed unquestioningly. Now I am more realistic.
“Why the HECK do people take parenting advice from doctors!”
Well – I do it whenever it comes to my child’s *health* because I didn’t go to medical school and they did. That way my children are less likely to get severely ill and end up in the ER with seriously high fevers or pneumonia, measles, mumps, rubella, etc. I recognize that as a parent, I DON’T know everything. To quote Socrates: “Wisest is he who knows what he does not know.”
But that wasnâ€™t the questionâ€¦
I saidâ€¦ Why do people take PARENTING advice from doctors?â€¦.
I go see a doctor for my kids when they are sick to get medical advice which is WHY we have doctors…. Medical advice is way different then Parenting adviceâ€¦
And I am sorry to say that ending up in the ER with a sick child has nothing to do with the advice from doctorsâ€¦ that usually comes from virusâ€™s, infections, and other circumstances that have nothing to do with the advice given in the past from a doctorâ€¦ and I would even argue that for those who have doctors that push formula those ER visits happen way more often and it is BECAUSE fo the ill advice of a so-called competent doctorâ€¦.
Doctors shouldnâ€™t be giving parenting adviceâ€¦ I am talking about advice on sleeping through the night, discipline, potty training etc, telling a mom she shouldnâ€™t breastfeed past a certain age and they shouldn’t push formula at all (that goes against good medical advice), they shouldn’t tell a mom she is harming a child by holding them too much and all of that other advice that just has no place in a doctors officeâ€¦ especially when many doctors actually give advice that goes against a momâ€™s instinctsâ€¦
I don’t know as I’d say don’t ever take parenting advice from doctors. However, what I would say is that doctors, in my opinion, are no better than other people in terms of knowing what’s best. There are good and bad ones. There are many doctors I wouldn’t listen to. However, for many (but not all) things, I really like what Dr. Sears has to say. In fact, much of why we are the parents we are has to do with the advice he has given (tempered with our own judgement, of course).
Toddâ€¦ I agree..
I think that there is a difference between getting parenting advice in a doctors office and researching Parenting advice and taking advice that may just happen to be given by a doctorâ€¦.
In one situation you may not understand all of the points, there may be a misunderstanding, there may be info left out, there may not be time to ask more questions, it may make you uncomfortable if it goes against your instincts etcâ€¦
While the other situation is one where you donâ€™t feel pressured to make a decision, you have time to go back and do more research, when you donâ€™t agree or donâ€™t understand you can just close the book close the site and go to something else, get other opinions from other sources and most importantly if you donâ€™t like the advice then you can just go to another source without having to worry about what to say when you do need to go back for medical adviceâ€¦ KWIMâ€¦.
I donâ€™t think that all doctors are completely incompetent when it comes to parenting advice I just donâ€™t think that it should be done in the officeâ€¦.
Excellent point, and I agree. In a medical setting, unsolicited parenting advice is inappropriate. The birthing centre where the midwives who helped with Paul’s birth strongly suggested that we interview pediatricians before the birth to make sure we agreed with them. We did, and were glad to have done so. Out of about five interviews, only a couple were people we could see taking care of Paul. Some were downright hostile to the ideas of the family bed, extended nursing and avoiding/delaying (we hadn’t decided then) vaccinations. The one we chose supported us on all points. And while I agree that parenting style shouldn’t be a part of dialog with the pediatrician, it was good to have discussed it so that it didn’t turn into a big issue later.
What I want to know is why other people feel the need to recommend weaning as if breastfeeding could harm your child. My three-year-old nurses, too.
I usually say things like “Actually, a child’s immune system isn’t fully functional until he’s around six, so breastmilk fills the need for immune support,” or “Note the correlation between the age of six or seven and the development of adult teeth,” or just “We’re happy with continued breastfeeding.” Honestly, she’s not ready to wean, and I’m not ready for her to wean either.