Here is an article that was shared with me recently…
Feminism is a funny thing…
For some it may mean that women need to be completely independent, need to work, not have kids and not go into any other role than the independent womyn figure that would never trust a man if her life depended on it…
For some it means juggling both worlds of kids and family and then working out of the home to be “equal” to men.
And for some… being at home, raising kids in the way that is the best ways… not the mainstream ways…. is an act of feminism… However, I think that a lot of self proclaimed feminists see this as being impossible, but it isn’t…
The way I see it is that for a while, feminism was about equality in status as human beings. The right to vote, the right to speak, the right to work with equal pay, not one more important than the other…
Equal… but… not the same…
However… sometime, somewhere, it seemed to change…
I remember when I was in university and hanging out in some feminist circles and feminism was no longer about equality, it was about men-bashing… it was about surpassing men, it was about taking over… Instead of being equal, it has become about leaving the role of woman and motherhood behind and looking at it as something to be ashamed of…
However, my choice of staying at home, raising my children, making my own choices about the way I birth is part of the way that I express who I am as a woman…
So, taking back my womanhood, taking back my body in birth by UCing, taking back my role as mother and nurturing and raising my children in the ways that feel right naturally and not because of a stigma, breastfeeding, co-sleeping and now unschooling, all in the while of being an equal partner within my relationship with my husband and partner in life is the way I express my feminism…
Men have in most part shaped the society that we live in, they in many ways formed the ways that society in general raises children…
Men were the physicians that wanted women to birth in unnatural positions so that they could “see better”, not caring at all that the birth on the back position makes it harder on women to birth and can put babies at risk…
Men were the ones that have made breasts sexual and that have put stigmas on breastfeeding and were the physicians that perpetuated the myths that formula was not dangerous and that often was better than breastfeeding even though they could not be further from the truth…
And it goes on and on… Men have made many mistakes, and it is up to us to change things, however, correcting those mistakes by taking on the same family roles as the men in the past is not the way to go and in my opinion is doing a disservice to the children…
So going back to that article and unschooling, well… I don’t agree with all of it but I think that some good points were brought up in the article and in the comments… unschooling and feminism don’t only come together in the ways that the author is describing, it is about more.
It is about teaching our own children, it is about letting them make their own choices for what is right for them and recognizing that they too are equals in our society, it is about recognizing that the school systems that have been set up clearly do not work for all children and there are serious flaws and that it is part of the role I choose of motherhood to give my children the best chances they have to be happy in life…
What a great article!
Interesting article.
But I think the idea that “feminist” women have to work for “independence” is outdated. I know many of my feminist sisters don’t work, and I have no issue with that. I think people need to do what is right for them and their families.
At one time, I thought I HAD to work. But deep down, I know I don’t exactly have to. But in my view, choosing not to work would have consequences that I don’t think are best for my family. Working opens up choices to me and my family that I would not have otherwise. And there are some things about work that I actually like.
But it does also involve some loss. It pains me to be away from my children. If I had to put them in day care, I might choose not to work even though I would face some unhappy consequences (such as less choice about where I live). But because their grandmother cares for them, because I work part time, because I don’t have to return to work with a 3-month old baby, and because of the extra benefits that we get from my job, I figure that working part time is the best choice for my family.
For other people, the factors add up to a different “best” decision. That’s not to say that I am not sometimes critical of the choices other women make; I generally think a woman who has children and then leaves them almost entirely in the care of others is not doing a good thing for her kids.
I also think some people are unwilling to sacrifice some of their own preferences for the sake of their children, and that’s sad (I’m thinking of parents who insist on buying expensive status symbol objects, and then claiming that both spouses must work for the family to get by).
Anyway, I enjoyed the article, and I am glad to have learned so much about unschooling from your blog. I’m thinking about it for my own little ones.
wow… interesting article. not much time to write all i am thinking, but briefly want to say that I think feminism is all about choice. when people are oppressed and discriminated against, their choices are limited… feminism to me is the belief that women have the power to make whatever choices are best for them. for me, i feel that nature intended me to be with my children full time until they are old enough to depend on themselves. In many ways my husband and I share this responsibility, but when it comes to breastfeeding that is my job and mine alone–and I wouldn’t have it any other way… this is how my body was made and I am so thankful to be able to nourish my children.
hmm.. don’t feel like i’m being clear… but thanks so much for the food for thought!! 🙂
Thanks for sharing such interesting thoughts. It is always a pleasure to read other like-minded article and thoughts.