A few days ago I passed the date that I would have been due if I hadn’t had a miscarriage… though now I am only a few weeks from my present “due date” it still feels strange to think of what could have been especially since my neighbours daughter was due a week or two later than me and has already had her little one…

Those extra 5 weeks feel like almost an extension of this pregnancy in a way… not having much more than heavy spotting, not having any bleeding before I got pregnant again… For most of this pregnancy I was also measuring exactly the amount that followed the earlier due date… just little things that remind me that there was a potential for a life that we missed.

I feel lucky though that I got pregnant right away, and though a may mourn what could have been, soon I will have a baby in my arms and I feel that  it will feel a lot better when that happens…